rebel with a cause

6.08 a.m.
He woke me up for fajr, while I was still groggy with the happenings and un-happenings from yesterday's absent demo and waiting in the rain in front of the ipk.
Good time to catch up with ol' friends.

Demo or no demo, maybe Discovery Channel should enlist street demo as part of the Malaysian cuppa. Even more so when the waiting and hopeful ppl turned up at the IPK held a mini-demo infront of the damn gates, and some of them even got arrested. I thought the Court order made was for KLCC area, dude.

Planned to go for futsal with law20 girls but I doubt I can make it on time.
Puan P called to ask to prepare for remand hearing for the 56 who got arrested.

While I was busy signing some forms when mr agent pak de came to our house, and I was still sleeping at 10 a.m., Fariz is heading back to Tangkak.

I was really thinking, have I become so self-absorbed with myself that nothing really matter outside the circle of my life? family, work, him and law + order are all the things that matter, and I feel foolish when I say I had it all. There are always people struggling for a greater cause (e.g the fedeyeen in Falastin) or people with no cause at all or even people who refuse to have any cause at all. Well, we are always stuck somewhere in the between.

The selfish me says: if I can't or incapable of helping, I don't and i won't.
But sometimes, like I've been told, its better to pretend to care than telling off the truth.

That's easy for you, those who detach emotions from their reasoning.
Applying decisions so mechanically. Thats why I'm a lawyer not a judge.

I'm never devoid of feelings, and every failed project, I'll take it personally.
That is why, if I can't, I cut it off completely.
Unless and until I learn how to built a facade around me, well, that would make me a person of no passion, when I am a passionate being. Why the dilemma.

Choose the path of God.
When you feel something is wrong, its how your conscience telling you this ain't right man, I wonder why do we still stand and fight for it??

Buta hati.
Oh God...let me be but that.

Let me live my life in grace, in virtue and in clear prospect for everything I do.
don't let me be a person blinded by something that destructs.
In grace and in virtue.
The integrity itself.
Ameen.