Wednesday, December 31, 2008

win some lose some

Captain Steven scored and later arrested.
Liverpool on top now but who knows what tomorrow brings?

300+ lives in exchange of 3 jewish deaths.
Hamas in power but Fatah gets rescued.
Can Obama change anything that has been there for 60 years in his 4 years?

ISA stays for the sake of national security.
But crime rates and duit kopi melambung tinggi.
What is there for you and me to be safe about?

Volatile moods get the best of me.
I'm sorry and I apologise.
I'm thankful and I appreciate.

You keep on preaching. Correcting. Idealising.
No one is listening.
Something is terribly wrong, but no one seems to care anymore.
And then there's a small group of people willing to talk and listen.
There's hope.

Goodbye 2008.


Sunday, December 21, 2008


Awaken to the client's wake up call. At 7 that is.
Trouble in Paradise, in our absence.
Some of the villagers have different ideas and hidden agendas going against the committee.
There goes my Sunday peace.

I tightened the laces getting ready to Run and humming to Devil's Dance.

One day you will see
And dare to come down to me
Yeah c'mon, c'mon now take the chance
That's right
Lets dance!


Saturday, December 20, 2008

of getting help, stat!

Imagine this.

You're beaten to a pulp.
You're barely alive.

And what hurt the most now isn't the bruises of blows he inflicted to you.
Its your heart that gets most of the beating.

How could he!
He said he'd stop the last time he trashed you around.
And now he had gone too far.

Like last time, you need to nurse your wounds.
But this time, you need more than few stiches, and you're limping out to get help.
And this time around, you decided that the Buster would pay for his thoughtless actions.
Enough is enough.

Question: where do you go first?

Police station?
Or get to your Lawyer's office?

Introducing you to OSCC (One Stop Crisis Center) @ all good Govt Hospital, specifically in Emergency Rooms.

Think of it as a comprehensive rescue centre, while getting medical treatment in the hospital, the other legal and authorities networks all wired up to this service will come to the victim.
Its All in One Crisis Centre.

People, remember the name.

Yes, we need volunteers (lawyers, medical doctors, everyone, you name it!)
Contact me for more details.

P/s: Not being gender biased. This applies to everyone, every victim.
And sometimes the aggressor can be female, too.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

trump cards

Got back home from the urban settlement meeting at 2 a.m this morning.
What about the meeting.

I did not expect a "meeting" to be conducted in such a way that me and my friends were put like panelists in a forum, instead of a round table meeting, we were met with 55 people staring at three of us.
And we were answering to their grievances of questions and answers.

Funny how the chairperson addressed us as their trump cards to the villagers.
Am sure you've heard of the saying "the ace of trumps is a sure winner".

And when the chairperson said that they need to limit the time as the lawyers are still "anak dara yang mak dorang still tunggu kat rumah", I thought I saw their eyes widen.
Either in awe or disbelief, I couldn't tell, as if our youth dicounts our credibility and confidence.

I could only mask my nervousness but speaking a little bit louder and based only on the things I think was/is right. God Knows if it made any sense at all.

Most of their queries are answered in a gist that
"You don't call a settler, a squatter.
There's big difference of a "Peneroka" and "Setinggan", and the former deserve equitable rights more than the latter."

"You don't make money by collecting compensations.
There are some trends overseeing that squatters mushrooming asap when there is a construction project. That's why we need to really thoroughly go through the status of the villagers and not all can get the same amount of compensation.
And all these grey areas that need to be checked."

Its easy to group these people.
But not as easy when you try to explain to them, eye to eye.

Trump cards.

The only Trump I like is Ivanka.
Aku tau aku comot, and she's all elegant and sharp, but one can still dream..


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

whirlwind whiplash

The Boss is on holiday.
Leaving me on my own for two weeks to babysit the firm.
Busier than ever.
Who ever said December sets your holidays mood.
They must be crazed.

Clients are, like always. too stupid to settle their own mess.
(That's why we're there haha)
And they demand the messes be fixed quick.
Lu cuba Buat Sendiri, boleh?

Courts are.. Oh well.
Sometimes I question why did i get myself into this.
I'm not that strong to pull myself together every single time I fall.
But some wise men told me, to succeed, this is the way to go through.

Two months is all I've got.
It seems I'm dragging my feet slowly but I'm expected to run.
I can even see the Finishing Line but I keep looking for detours.
No supporters, just shouts and yells finish I must.

This hellhole, I must leave.
As the whirlwinds whiplash me back in.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Run II

I ran again this morning before court.
Due to the restrain of time, I took the shorter route albeit the faster speed.
I have this in my mind this time to feed my run:

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming

Over and over.


Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Just got back from 9 miles run.
It feels so good.

I am what they call a solitary runner.
Without music, without technology, without grace.
Just me, and my running thoughts.

I used to run alot more when I was younger.
And even faster when I'm upset.

I would run til the last of my energy that has been feeding off emotions.
The bitter I am, the stronger runner I would be.
The Demons burns in the Spirit, and fades away in exhaustion.

The incensed emotions, the umbrageous feeling of losses and indignant denials vanish with each step I take. A breather from the dead of reason.

As if i could really runaway from the things, the persons, the words that failed me.
Let me be.
Leave me be.

It seems nowadays I don't run as much, complacent to the living I have now and maybe just maybe I wasn't as angry a person as what I used to be.
Stabilized emotions, perhaps I did become older and wiser and wished for simpler things for happiness.

And I keep wishing he was here, running beside me.
My pillar of strength, the sunshine of my universe.
He'll make me forget that I'm actually running to forget why I'm running.

And this morning, I ran again.
As fast and as far as I could.


Sunday, December 07, 2008

#1 Crush

Hazwani tagged me with these rules:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down NO MATTER HOW silly it sounds.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" ... you say?
Push it - by Garbage
(wah memaksanya aku)

2. How would you describe yourself?
St. Anger -by Metallica
(hahhaha how apt)

3. What do you like in a girl?
Like a Friend -by Pulp
(hm. Weird, but yelah how do you like a person without being a friend in the first place?)

4. How do you feel today?
Comfortably numb -by Pink Floyd
(how true!)

5.What is your life's purpose?
Strange and Beautiful -by Aqualung
(well I don't think I want it to be strange, but the journey is I guess...)

6. What is your motto?
Your Guardian Angel -by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
(haih. Hm my name means it anyway so..)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Passive Aggresive -by A perfect circle
(dammit la. And i hate this type of people..)

8. What do you think of your parents?
This is the world I know -by Collective Soul

9. What do you think about very often?
The Bitterend -by Placebo

10. What is 2 + 2?
Love Song -by 311
(but 311 is 5, not even 4?)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
Til everything burns -by Ben Moody
(why not. I'll be there for them til everything burns?)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Dream -by K.Will
(Rain Bi in tux and aiming to kill..phwoargh)

13. What is your life story?
Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime -by Beck
(they usually do. After getting their heart broken, eh?)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Knocking on Heaven's Door -by Bob Dylan
(well I..)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Sleepwalker -by The Wallflowers
(you can only walk with them in your dreams..or it seems?)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Angel with the scabbed wings by Marilyn Manson
(sangat tidak sesuai)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
When Worlds Collide -by Powerman 5000

18.What is your hobby/interest?
Walking after you -by The Foo Fighters
(ye thank you for making me sound like a stalker)

19. What is your biggest fear?
November Rain -by Guns n' Roses
(metaphors everyone, metaphors. Now December already)

20. What is your biggest secret?
Stupid Girl -by Garbage
(but thats not a secret!)

21. What do you think of your good friends?
Wolf to the Moon -Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow
(hahahha I guess that's what the gang is.)

22. What will you post this as?
# 1 Crush -by Garbage
(Shirley Manson, if you're reading this, I think you're cool)

I tag Zetty. And FD. And ZZ.
The three mp3 junkies I know. :P


Saturday, December 06, 2008


After the Legalaid meeting + book launching at Bau2 Cafe last night, I headed home late after watching a movie about some vampire lovin' with VK.

The movie was OK, but for me nothing can surpass Interview with The Vampire (maybe I'm biased because I love Anne Rice's work).

Anyway moving on..
I'm working in a Legal Firm specializing in Construction.
Sometimes it involves the issue of the eviction of squatters or removal encroachments to the project site.
And most of the time, the Court recognizes the rights of the registered land owners, but not without detailed and careful deliberation.
The squatters will still get their compensation.

I understand the Developer's rushing wants to immediately bulldoze the encroachments, and at the same time I understand the squatter's helplessness in trying to retain to what they call home and weighing these two, I can safely say I am divided by my work ethics.

Indefeasibility of title is Law.
My clients have the full legitimate expectation of land use.
But at the same time the question of Equity kicks in.

Which brings us to the discussion I had with VK about legal rights, when the Others question equitable rights.
That only the rightful owners shall have the sole benefit of the land.
Hence squatters and settlers can pack their bags and go.

What hurts me the most, a lawyer I know said this "why should we help the squatters, they free-free buat rumah on other people's land and then we have to compensate them."

I'm embarrassed to admit my learned friend in Law is that shallow.
But his/her sentiment is widely shared by the others learned friends in the legal fraternity so why am I surprised anyway.

And the irony of me fighting for my clients evicting squatters comes in like a bad comeback.
Because off working hours I'll be defending the other side of the party.

I know some are questioning, but to me these are values to which can not be calculated easily.
To those who call themselves lawyers (excluding gomen counsels as they are tied with the gomen, but they're not lawyers pun in the first place in the truest sense what am I thinking), I think there's a fine line between the call of duty and business.

I take care of my clients, because they have their rights over the land.
And the same for the squatters/settlers, as they too have their rights over the same.
Sometimes values are intangible, sometimes they are tangible.
But there are still values.

And there is such thing as a grey area sandwiched between the black and the white.
Hell yes the court recognises it.

Too bad if you feel this shouldn't be the way.

And just because I work for the money 9-5 it does not mean I have to devoid of human feeling to the society, right.

It does not mean I can turn my back just because my namecard says I'm from The Firm.
Let's start this over.

Hello, I'm a Lawyer.
I'm not a mercenary. I have values too. I believe in it.
Do you?


Cerita 1.
When I came to the dining table, the Nobel nominated poet + pioneer to the Legalaid Mr Cecil Rajendra recognises me "eh miss Harrison!" I can feel my cheeks growing red and yes I'm flattered he knows me by name ehehehe. Eh aku memang suka gila puisi even before being called to the Bar.

Cerita 2.
I got home almost after midnight and mom called in to ask about my whereabouts.
When I told her I was on my way back, with VK, she wanted to hear VK's voice.
(Confirm perempuan kan hahaha) Macam pelik. I thought Mom was worried I'm having a cold feet because the wedding is around the corner tiba2 nak dating dengan laki lain? Oh tidakk.

Cerita 3.
The full version of cerita 2 above is that My mother thought she misheard my friend's name as 'Jealous' instead of the real name.
(I'm almost sure I did not mispronounce VK's name to sound like "Jealous". Tapi I kan pelat.) Thats why she repeated the name so I thought she wanted to hear VK's voice to check on us.
(So it wasn't she checking out who I was out with duh).

This was revealed when Yah told me Mak said 'oh ada jugak orang dalam dunia ni nama dia "Jealous".

Cerita 4.
When I told Mr K about cerita 3, he said : "Ah that's not jealous. I am Jealous".
Hehehehhe. Alaalaa.


Friday, December 05, 2008


mogok dengan streamyx. buat criminal threat kat the automated answering machine.
mogok dengan yah sebab magrib tak balik2. pastu kena cari dia allover usj2.
mogok dengan bos. rayau2 borders after court.
mogok dengan workload. terus nak beli direct flight gi Manipal.
mogok dgn aircon kereta yang rosak. beli Fiat Brava on the spot adalah sangat over.
mogok dengan kelibat hakim yang sangat horror. rasa nak quit practice time tu jugak.

Finished reading The Road. Can't stop thinking about The Man and The Child.
And made me stop worry about all those things mentioned above.
It'll make you somewhat more grateful.

Suddenly everything seems trivial.

Including my favourite anti american briton's logical complaints.
For crying out loud, Jeremy Clarkson is not stopping with no 2, he has to come out with the third:
and (to some extend) made me forget about the seriousness about being grateful.
Back to (not really) square one, eh.



toi plus moi =)

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