Friday, September 23, 2011


Dia yang kini bergigi 7,  merangkak laju berkuak lentang, dengan senyuman semanis madu, kini genap setahun hari ini.

Setahun lepas, dalam dakapan ayah, ibu sedang bertarung nyawa menyambutmu.
Kelahiran yang dinantikan, yang dipermudahkan dan diringankan Allah, dengan seorang bayi lelaki seberat 3 kilo dan panjang 54 sm.

Dan kami namakan dia Hanzalah, sempena nama seorang panglima dan sahabat nabi.
Nama yang kami angan-angankan untuk anak pertama kami sejak mula bertemu.
Peribadi ringkas yang berani, dan dia yang tegas memilih antara dua cinta. Dia yang merasakan tertipu dengan dirinya sampaikan dikatakan dirinya munafik, walhal dirinya pantas merasa insaf dan dekat dengan TuhanNya. Itulah dia, Hanzalah ibnu Ar Rabi r.a
Dan harapan kami buat Hanzalah ibnu Khalis Amali, semoga terus menjadi seorang yang soleh dan ikhlas.
Semoga hatinya cepat menyerap kebaikan dan kebenaran. InshaAllah.
Semoga dijauhkan dari sifat dengki, bisikan syaitan, perkara yang buruk dan perbuatan jahat manusia. Nauzubillah.

Setiap anak itu dilahirkan dalam fitrahnya sesuci kain putih.
Semoga Allah membimbing Ayah dan Ibu selalu dalam mencorakkan peribadi muslim kepada dirimu wahai anakku. Ameen.

Selamat hari jadi, sayang.
Sanah Helwah, Hanzalah habibi.
Wahai belahan dedua ayah dan ibu.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

wordless wednesday



Tuesday, September 20, 2011

without fear or favour

“Islam is the only religion that retains its weltanschauung; nonetheless I wouldn’t like to live in an islamic state.”

I remember having this conversation, feeling the awkward fusion of both defensive and combative. He was the only son to a wealthy Indian family, who read both medicine and law (locally and in the UK), and had almost be deserted by the family when he married a French alien. Surely his view, at least as Malaysian, mattered. He was no longer professing any belief. So it did not matter to me if his opinion on religion may be discounted by ungodly sentiment, I was not going to impose him my belief, and he wasn’t forcing me accept his independent view whatsoever.

Otherwise I would have lectured him the peaceful tenets of our religion, as the achievement of an Islamic state (perfectly. That state bordering India need not apply) would make him and other Malaysians happy contented citizens.

But the real problem rests within the scope of understanding the religion by Muslims themselves. Oft they see themselves as untouchables. And even more so the ones with religious knowledge will use it to back up things to condone sinful things. One must always see that every step they take has consequences. And Allah knows everything.

Besides, religiously, if you ask me, nowadays it can longer can be restricted in academic discussion but has more political effect. To his echoing statement, I remember looking at his wizened gaze and told him “I understand”.

Word of caution: I do not accept what he said, but I merely understand.
I understand his fear.
Fear of the unknown. Things that he had not understood. Things that he could see as a threat.

I remember walking down the streets of Prague, Czechoslovakia as a university student, I was busy (attempting to) sketch moleskin's of buildings and snapping my life away with the camera on the loop. I didn’t realise I had entered into a discreet synagogue when suddenly a man wanted to snatch the camera away and had began to chase me , shouting, with several other men. Surely I can relate of not calling such place as home.

But if anyone, not asking the Rabbi, any reasonable man, had told me off, that it was a zoned-out aucshtung do not enter religious process is taking place, I wouldn’t have wandered far and will not fear for life. Heck, I didn’t even realise it was a synagogue in the first place!

Don’t think any real practicing Jew would want me to feel that way.
Vice versa, but how come they see a 20 year old female as a threat?

It all has to do with politics. How the worldview has shaped who is dangerous, what to fear, who to hate. I remember a friend of mine (Muslim Malaysian female) who studied at Harvard who had came unprepared for a Halloween party. She was donning the usual scarf and blouse and a backpack. So when she was asked who she might be for Halloween costume, she jokingly said “a suicide bomber”. Later she related the story to me, I was surprise not many could see it a joke.

This is not merely asking you or anyone else to sell your belief out to others just so we all can live happily ever after. You see, living happily ever after, is an ongoing process. When no compromise can be measured with so many differences, can we atleast acknowledge it and accept that the differences are what we are? But we shall not use our upperhand (who says we have it anyway?) to suppress it. It looks ugly.

Like how ugly France looks (at least to me lah)  when the Jumuah are banned from praying on the streets. Demographically, the influx of melting pots to France rests no wonder that Muslims community are quite large, but sadly, they are not respected. Their rights to profess and practice Islam beautifully and peacefully is denied. If you have Muslim French friends, ask them how they feel, and I’m sure they wished for a more acceptable authority.

Islam is a religion of peace.

Peaceful as it should be you could be rest assured that you can let guards down in the protection of Allah, when it comes with dealing with other beliefs. It is not by being forceful or overzealous or over righteousness can Islam be reflected beautifully on others, but through gentle, hikmah and wisdom.

Just like how the Prophet (sallahu alahi wasalam) did.


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

tasmanian mountains

how I wish I could stay and never return.

 Oh his next hols is so faraway :-(


Tuesday, September 06, 2011

angels on my right and wrong.

I have (only) one (thank God) elder brother.

He who had set the tone of the household with his comical and/or annoying gimmicks, the rebel who have an ACCA under his belt just for the sake of why not? The mathematician and music maverick whom I can not be, no matter how hard I tried, these two disciplines remains as his personal forte. Apart from that, both of us share the same insight for arts and philosophy, and will not fight about literature and politics. The good son, the beloved lazy bum who intentionally get lost during travel just to explore the unfamiliar and sudden beauties of the travel, who truly adores our mother and my child. Will soon be getting married to a wonderful lady.

 I have a twin sister.
Who seems to be living out my dream. Who knows exactly how I feel and still will give me a tight slap about it nonetheless. She’s an army officer, a doctor, a nomad vagabond, a paratrooper, a skydiver, etc etc. Who is always surrounded by equally crazy friends who would always have plans to do something, somewhere, with her. She’s volatile, funny and the custodian of my deepest secrets. She who gives and gives and gives and gives and expects nothing in return. A passionate doctor who squabbles when one ask for a free mc, but understands anyway that a human need is not justifiable only on paper, and a medical encyclopedia who know nuts about football or where Tanjung Karang is(but will go to cluelessly, just for the sake of why not).

My two siblings, my two (why nots?) 6th September brother and sister.
Zainal and Zakiah.

Happy birthday.

Lucky to have both of you, right and wrong, me stuck in the middle.
Without you, I can not be who I am now.
Thank you.
all pictures taken during their visit to Manipal. :)


Monday, September 05, 2011

cabang-cabang cinta

Abg Romi and his beautiful family (Nur, after so long, baru dapat jumpa!)  came to our humble abode. Love begets love. That's what I learn from the short but sweet visit. He wrote about our pride n' joy here.

Kekuatan dan ketabahan hati Nur dapat dirasai. Sejuk hati memandang Nada dan Marwa. Semoga menjadi anak soleh yang mendoakan ayah dan umi, ya?


toi plus moi =)

  © Blogger template AutumnFall by 2008

Back to TOP