Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Terry Fox run: finding cures for cancer

its' gotta keep going, without me
-Terry Fox

A: what's the best way to lose big fat calories while doing a charity?
Q: join the Terry Fox marathon.

Its this Sunday, at Lake Garden (zaza please don't oversleep) at 8.30 am.
For RM25.00 you will be supporting the Terry Fox Foundation, finding cures for cancer.
(Plus you'll be getting the cool t-shirt).

Who is this Terry Fox lah?
Cllick here for the Terry Fox website for the KL run.

Quoting abang Kenny: (tak sempat maaa nak compose sendiri)

...he's a Canadian who was 18 years old when he was first diagnosed with bone cancer. As a result of his disease, his right leg has to be chopped off and replaced with an artificial leg.

While in hospital, Terry Fox was touched by the suffering of his fellow cancer patients. He wanted to help them. In 1980, he made a resolution to run across Canada in order to inspire people and to raise fund for cancer research. Despite losing a leg, the then-22-year-old ultimately ran the distance of 42km EVERY DAY, for 143 consecutive days.

He called it the Marathon of Hope. The photo of him limping with a prosthetic leg, with vehicles following closely behind him, is the most iconic from the 1980s.

Terry Fox died one month short of his 23rd birthday, after he was forced to abandon his run due to failing health.

By then, everyone had heard of the cancer patient who ran with a prosthetic leg to cover an amazing distance of 5,373 km. His legacy led to the establishment of the Terry Fox Foundation and the Terry Fox Run, both of which were set up the same objectives as the Marathon of Hope.

To find the cure for cancer.

I'm wee busy today. I took half a day off for a big fat Mc Donalds brunch with my sister and am now expecting someone to collect a cheque from me. Yup people I'm buying myself a new RED laptop! Yay! Amidst the piling of mountain high, I still have time to copy and paste blog. Its all for a good cause what.
Thanks Pakdi, for putting it on the Friendster Bulletin, or else I won't know as well.
Thanks "abang" Kenny, for the details. I love your blog!! you're the best!


sms donation to MAKNA

All she wishes to live is to see her only child, 13 year old son Song Kar Ming to finish college and have a future .

Madam Wong is suffering from Breast Cancer, it has metastasise (spread) to her back bone. She is 54 years old and unable to continue with her job as a housekeeping clerk (filing and bookkeeping). Her husband does odd jobs (repair furniture, plumbing) to keep the family going. There is no sense of steady income. Madam Wong is being treated in Institut Kanser MAKNA - University Kebangsaan Malaysia (IKM-HUKM). She is responding well to the treatment and shows signs of improvement.

You can make a difference in the lives of many other patients who are suffering like her and give a meaning to life. To make a difference please log on to or type "REG MAKNA" and send SMS to 39398. For each SMS, RM5 will be donated to the cause of saving a life.

Majlis Kanser Nasional (MAKNA) or National Cancer Council
No. 26-3, Jalan 10/55A, Taman Setiawangsa, 54200 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Telephone : +603-4256 9178 / 79
Facsimile : +603-4256 9203
e-mail :

Operation Hours : Monday - Friday, 9:00am to 5pm


that clown angel

I spent the good half of my working day with my sister and I just realised the reason why I love that rascal of a raccoon of ours so much.

Fact is, if my youngest sibling Zetty is like an angel sent from above, (I fondly call her "Rahmah" (means miraculous gift*) then Zakiah is the clown that God sent to cheer our lives.
(Now, now, that is not a bad thing. okay2. You're the clown angel, ohkay?)

I realised I love her to death, because she said "bila yah besar yah nak jadi enviromental activist".

She is so full of life, selfless.
Zakiah al-mukhlisah insyaAllah.
(She won't be able to read this post as she's away in Serdang Hospital preparing for her pro exam, so I'm safe)

That girl is already a human lifesaver (being in a medical fraternity whatnot) and I'm this workday employee who is selfish enough not to to give myself, a free as a bird weekender to the society.

Maybe you and I could still be better person, yes?
Let us be involved in something worthwhile to our soul.

*as I''ve a cousin aptly nicknamed the same too because rahmah the cousin is an angel living amongst us sinful humans.Rahmah the cousin suffered from a sickness that deprived her of full mental capacity. She is,as any person of the same, is free from any wrong, fault nor sin hence she is an angel.I love her so much.)


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

never did: do

never did I
look upon something I
used to love in haste I
look and turn the other way I
lost myself over and again I
see it quite clearly I
am seen with dark halo around me I
walk with pebbles in my shoes I
stumble again with blood on my hand I
saw the hurt in your eyes I
read the words in your lips I
heard the screaming in your heart I
wish you had not seen I
wished you had been blind I
see you after my disgrace I
feel you looking straight I
know you discover the dome of my heart I
Know you see all the lies I
put you trough all your life I
love you all my life I


things i regret 2007

things I regret for this year:

1. not attending the MLC (that's Malaysian Law Conference for you) at KLcc.

2. there are no number two.

Sheesh. I'd to take care of the matters up for the days my boss went to the MLC.
Look at his happy face.

Yup. There he is.
Riiiighttt there.

I'm soooooo freaking tired today. I slept at 3 last night (not because I was going through the case/revising facts,its because I was watching ROME) and woke up at 8 am.

Startle I did but....
I didn't rush or attempted to, because I know it is terribly late and i will not make it on time pun. So what's the use. Won't be making a grand entry. Not in style anyway.
So I took my time, and reached Ampang Sessions Court at 9.30.

Much to my dismay, the court is vacant and we had to wait for a substitute judge just to take another hearing date. And wait for another 2 hours. Just. For. That. Freaking. Date.

And after that I headed to WeiLing Gallery, for a quick lunch with Faraemir. God.
That girl is so busy she needs to be cloned.

I offered my help to find her an assistant to man the gallery so she can have lunch with me.
Anyone interested?
Let me know.

you know its cool to work in an art gallery.
Imagine saying "oh I'm a boring legal associate aka underpaid slave to a legal firm".

As compared to "oh I'm with this art gallery, you know, the works of Rembrandt was displayed here?what do you mean you don't know Suriani, she's so big in the US"
[Please support local artistes] (not your Siti Nuhaliza kinda of artis, mind you)

Dengar pun macam wangi. Albeit the conceited feeling. hahaha.

I don't know, I would be conceited working in an art gallery.
Makes me feel.. artsy and elegant.
Yeah. If the place you work in looks like yonder bellow, your ego would swell too.
(fara, not kutuking you lah. You're my angel,never conceited nor proud)


Monday, October 29, 2007

in the state of denial.

Please read the New Sunday Times, 28th Oct 2007 for the exclusive interview with (not mine, not yours too) the de-facto law minister. No time to post the entire interview, just a waste of time of an angry blogger like me. D'uh.

What can be derived from the interview can be summarised below:

  1. Crisis: it has to be epidemic, explosive and costs the peace and serenity of every Malaysian.Oh no, you mean it has to be a crisis before proper action can be taken. When its too late, too big a issue to handle.

  2. Minority is not even a number: (so why is he getting fussed all about.) Go on number 3.

  3. Bloggers are angry bunch of people: Only ministers have the right to be angry. And bloggers are low-standard writers. A waste of time.Rubbish. (then,how do you know it is?)

  4. If you don't come forward, your complaint is false: i'm thinking about all those rape victims ya? they must have been very good at fabricating stories to condescend themselves.

  5. No immediete opinion, please: you've got to say anything, please put it in the ballot box.Everything can be resolved through democracy. Maybe a p/s: hey i didn't like with what you did to the judiciary issue under the big X.

  6. BN package deal: if you don't like 'an' issue, vote the whole BN out.

  7. The 1,000 or even 13,000 members of the Bar is just a number :they don't even represent the Malaysian majority. So why bother with them. (yeah, why?)

  8. Don't get angry at me being at "my human being mode". Please shout at the "professsional mode": oh, I have split personalities mind you.

Aniza Damis, you sure have a lot of courage to ask him those questions!

tomorrow I'll be conducting my own, my first criminal trial. Armed Robbery.
(s.392 of the Penal Code).
A legal Aid file *smile* and God, haven't I prepared anything *pengsan*
Radzlan, Nick Netto!! help!

I remember the otai lawyer Mr. M, (you'll see I'll refer to him more after this) told me that it's always better to be in criminal courts, where much of the law is applied, more than the civil courts, where most of the time, procedure matters the most.
He even knocked my head upon knowing that i'm a civil litigator and said "much to my disappointment, hope you don't go on joining the bigboys drafting something silly".


lesson learnt, don't make assumptions!

yeke? wah dapat gantirugi.pas2 kalau kita buat complain yang we almost lost a sister because of friendster, brapa juta leh dapat agaknya? -n/a

sometimes why we argue could be smallest factor why anyone would.
But thats the way life is.

I was suddenly deleted from my pet-sister's friendster after having a row.
Naturally, I thought that was intentionally done.
And I never asked for her explanation, seething in anger, I reacted the way normal people would have: I deleted her number, I disassociate myself from her circle and continued life like there was no her.

And she never attempted or try to explain so this for me, is circumstantial proof.

It even escalated when I heard people commenting on my personal life, which only matters to people like me,my ohana and my close friends like her.

(her side of the story: after realising that she was too deleted from my friendster, she assumed that I was too angry with her and she would make my life easier by keeping a distance. So she never did ask why)

until yesterday we found out that friendster is as lousy as anything else.
And everyone else is good at creating stories that hurt.
And we're too afraid to confront each other.

I don't even know since when do I have a heart to do that to her.
I loved her as long as I've known her, naturally like a sister, though we have nothing in common (well except for one thing...but that's in her history, my present and my future) and we have different principles in life that would've set us apart the first time we got to know each other.
But that only came so recently after few years.

We know why now, but there's nothing to it now, I think.
We lose ourselves when we don't trust each other.

Making assumptions is bad for your health.

Stupid friendster aside, I'm glad I got my sis back =)


..tick tocking.

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.
~Lee Segall.

As we speak, the clock is still ticking, and gives nothing but an affirmation that it's three days away. The King sits silently in his throne and everyone in bated breath, jumps at a single movement.

But nothing moved.

No, I'm not talking about Halloween.
We Malaysian people don't celebrate people pretending to be scary things because here we live among the living dead anyway.

In 3 (mortal) days, and the CJ is due to be retired on the Nov 1st.
Why all the suspense?

Because the King have not yet agreed to extend his tenure.
First time in history, a delay in the usually efficient fast-forward button-pushed process.
Someone else is holding the remote.
Thank God.


Saturday, October 27, 2007

crybaby poet

hell no
you're not gonna cry anymore
it won't bring back the dead
it won't bring out the sun
it won't stop the trigger happy son of a gun
nor would it wash your car or do your laundry.
keep it flowing in the river of your heart
and so give it a life in your soul.

Kinda make me sing to a GnR" song. But you won't sing that to a mother of a dead fighter. Not entirely dedicated to any specific person, but I really hope that there'll be no more sadness in this world.

Oh ya happy 2nd anniv, dear khalis. I love you so very much.



How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I couldn't compose a single prose for you, for I fear that it might just ridicule of how I feel for you, for I love you to the greatest depth of feelings and my own words will never potray the truth. The love is a beauty by itself, and I will not corrupt it by my cheaply chosen words,inadequate and silly.

Thank you for your love.


Friday, October 26, 2007

bond guy

I received a call from a former client this morning.

He was my first client for criminal matter, but I still didn't recognise his voice.
Because he sounded so... happy.
He said he moved on better, and got a job as a security guard and now supports his parents.
He told me he's a different person now and I couldn't help but to feel happy (and flattered really) for him.

I got a bond of good behaviour of three years for him, having convinced the judge that he will be needed in his social circle and that he regretted deeply everything he had done.
He is and he did.

But his criminal record is holding him back from getting a promotion.
That his superior received a letter from some ministry informing his past record and disqualify him from improving his position.
And that they're sacking him.
It was his third job in a year, and he was desperate.

Why the stigma?
I fear that out of frustration, he might do something stupid, something that might cost his liberty once again.
I can always try help him but, things are different for repeat offenders.

He was already been punished by the law.
But our society havent had enough.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

not a factor to insurgency

I'm a legal trained counsel, not a legal minded one, if you can't tell the difference, I hope you can distinguish between the act of rebellion, or necessity.

Take the Iraq scenario.
Can you tell the real rebel, out of the many petty criminals?
The former carries a motive, an organized rebellion aimed at overthrowing a constituted government through the use of subversion and armed conflict.
Whereas the latter, are just desperate citizens trying to live, forced to steal/rob/kill to survive, being pushed to the limit because their government, is no longer protecting them.

You can’t punish them.
Umar al-Khattab r.anhu waived the hudud penalty for the thieves stealing out of hunger.
Him, a man of strict principles, understood that in normal circumstance, these kind of people would not commit a wrong.
But they don’t a choice. Do they.

No they don’t.

But this is not a world led by a righteous Caliph.
These people get punished all the time.

Many a times I was disturbed in my own thoughts thinking that it exists in everyday life, out of war zone, people in desperate measures.
Get punished all the time.

And the real evil, like the bushy US government, gets away all the time.
Like the jews.
Like the person in our everyday personal life, causing much of our anguish, retorts dramatically when we react to their first wrong doing.
Its bullshit.

“hey, you created the situation and gives us no choice but to act this way”

Newton law numero uno: when there’s action, there’s reaction.

You fool.
You can get away now.
But not forever.
Not when its too late to apologise.

To you: i'm never going to apologise for what I've done.
And I'm not gonna bury the bloody the hachet and I hope you all burn in hell.

small talk:
Don't you all think the right to legal counsel (art 5(3) federal constitution should really mean "that the gomen should provide lawyers for poor accused persons, too"? Ours is modelled after the Indian Fed Consti, and their courts opined that the government owes a duty to provide free legal aid to those who can't afford lawyers in criminal matters.Or else justice is only served to those rich bastards, and so defeats the purpose of the article.
Well. At least the Malaysian bar Council is doing a good job providing legal aid services, albeit the restrictions.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

so what i say

love dies when growth stops
-Pearl S. Buck, Nobel Prize Winner.

Hey you.

How long has it been since we last met?
I've since moved on to a new neighbourhood and the last we spoke was at 5 am in the morning.
It was just a short talk, wasn't it, and it ended abruptly while I was trying to figure up why did I lose faith in you. Maybe you did realise, that I suddenly disappear like I always did, but this time, I'm never going to re-surface because I can no longer trust myself for you.
Or maybe you were too caught up to know that I'm already long gone.

I'd never thought that I would do this to you.
I might have the cold heart of an assassin but not to a dear friend.
Truth is, I stopped caring.

I dare not say that I'd always shown or been a good of a living example to you.
I've so many vices and you had always been the one holding the light.
But this time, I had enough of you crying your heart out when you know you were wearing your heart on your sleeve.

I'm done with trying to help.
What is poison to everyone else is food to you.
I'm done with attempting to rescue.
All those done in vain for someone refusing to be saved.

I guess you're better off alone.
I regretted telling you when you put that out for your blinded dreams.
Though I admit, I must've told you to fend you off from the one thing I was trying to protect you.
And I wish to draw the line; ours are two different situation.
I need not be defensive, for I'd been cautious even when I first started, but you fell off everytime. And look what it led you to.

Dont try to convince yourself this is the act of correcting your past mistakes.
It just won't hold off.

I stopped caring.
Because despite it all, you chose to remain spoilt. And weak.

You have no dignity, no shame for what you're worth for.
You rather throw it all because you rather not lose now.
Have some pride.
If you're patient, the best would be Godsent to you, but why settle for a broken pipe???

Maybe you should've not told me in the first place for I never look at people like you the same way again and I've lost my respect to each and every institution that might have mould and shaped and formed you.

Please give a stray of light to me, for people like me, that you are not pursuing whatever you said you were. Don't break our heart.

Please, stop already.


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

khutbah Raya 1428

This raya, I wanted to concentrate listening to the khutbah (which, a failed attempt, each time because I get distracted too easily).

Well, not too bad this year, although I got only a quarter of what the khutbah is all about.

About how we try to become a newer person by buying new clothes every raya, by cooking a different kind of meal for raya, all those sort of thing we do for the celebration but actually in reality, we failed to become good muslims altogether because of our selfishness during Eid.
Rarely thinking about others, all those goodness in a month of fasting melts out on the first day of raya.

That was it. A paragraph of the khutbah, for the 30 minutes long speech.
I wonder how MEN try to focus during their weekly jumaat khutbah, because I fail miserably trying to concentrate.

I realised that I was thinking so much into concentration, telling my mind that i should focus, telling myself oof afzan do not stare at that makcik gossiping about how she met Siti and Datuk k at the local pasar malam and that rascal of a child aged 4 trying to tug away Yah's telekong, afzan please try to focus, listen listen, and at the end, I could hear nothing but my thoughts.

I'm Hopeless.

But nonetheless, my head was swimming when the khutbah ended, and I felt the Imam's ambages had taken me everywhere and left me nowhere.


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

must i follow thee o great guru?

I should be doing work.
But at the pace, I'm going, I can finish the work between 2 hours or 2 years, depending on the mood I'm working at.
But I've something to vent out. I need to shout.
So as suggested by my closest accomplice (my right brain, the emotional one of the two), I postponed my drafting of SOC for something else to could save my sanity.

I procrastinate.

I hope this is not your another "i love my job,but I hate the work" blog, because after half a year of practice I suddenly am a stout believer that in this fraternity, we are all having a scandalous affair kind of career, the hate-love relationship.

The ones happy in their blissful marriage, having being made a jr partner already, seeing nothing but endless cute faced offsprings, I must congratulate you.

For I, am having a disastrous affair with a partner who is never talking but always watching my back like he's the second skin.
But at the same time, the amount of freedom gives me so much liberty to grow (much to my dismay, actually) independently.

I'm thrown out to the sea, no warnings given, no pat at the back if I succeed nor scoldings if I suck.

Honestly, I love being a legal associate. But I hate being unguided, much to the expectancy that I must know all that I've read in the law school must be applied aptly.
Thanks, at first I'm flattered because you believe me so much.
But no thanks, I need to learn as well.

Maybe I should just be grateful.
That I have to learn it the hard way.
The way that wild trees grow, uncut, ungroomed, unsheltered.
Because, he said, in extreme ways, thats how he learned his way.

I believe for me to go for his style of "extreme ways", I must learn to appreciate the kind of affair I'm having and just like any other terrible partner, be grateful that you are in, an affair with somebody (something) that you choose.
Somebody you love.
Something you like.

But (maybe I have little faith for what I can do, for what I am) I'm not like him.
Tell me I need to buck up, or stop being childish for wanting guidance?

Change my ways, yup?
Or change the boss, yup?


Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn't know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I'd owned
I threw it out the windows, came along
Extreme ways I know, will part
The colors of my sea
It's a perfect colored sea

Extreme ways that help me
They help me out late at night
Extreme places I had gone
But never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming home
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it then?

I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Like it always does, always does

Extreme sounds have told me
They held me down every night
I didn't have much to say
I didn't give up the light
I closed my eyes and closed myself
And closed my world and never opened
Up to anything
That could get me at all

I had to close down everything
I had to close down my mind
Too many things could cut me
Too much can make me blind
I've seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn't even believe

I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Like it always does,
It always does


toi plus moi =)

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