Monday, June 04, 2007

this is not just a letter

no of course its not. Its a few letter composed to few people that I think I need them to know something but not in the usual everyday manner after hello. These people are indeed special and have a place deep in my heart..why put them in all three? because today, I feel like i've been in monstrous experience and they had always been with me, not letting me becoming a monster anyhow. This is my thanks.

Yah m.d
Everything is relative except God.
And since I am a relative to you, I sometimes wonder if there could be anything closer than being siamese twins. After searching for those missing Buddha heads I did notice your change. The sister (funny. I never really held her as "one" simply because I think she's at par with me, but even twins have their seniority distinguished by seconds to few minutes. But with her, I just can't. Hence she not calling me "kak" or my habit of having a house of adoption for pet sisters. But nevertheless. She's my one female confidante. I'd known was far more gentle hearted at her most rugged ways and would cry her heart out for simplest things. Yes and I can vouch for her sincerity) But I can assure you, I'd never never think of you in any ways that could put us apart. Yes, I still think you're one of the weirdest creature Id ever known (I put you in the same category as Mar. Hehe it is a compliment)
You had helped me in ways no one could.
Although you send me up against the wall, drove me crazy and got me warded but annoyingly, I'll stick with you.
And there is no way I can be a monster to you.

Nabilah Hani
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
That crazy woman is me. You're just being a good person and your patience handling my volcanic temper and nonsensical philosophies amazes me. No one can put up (not until I found him hahaha) with that. You've seen something in me and I'd seen your inner beauty more than everything. For me, your beauty radiates from within you. I can sense you getting all blushed up ready to spank me hard on my face the next time we meet for our jog date, but for all thise calmness and true to your name sake "hani", you gave me my peace.

Khalis darling
he's my lifesaver :) can't say enough to tell you how much I love you and your ways sometimes I do wander..what do I did so much to deserve a person like you..
You know how scatterbrained and sensitive idiot I am but never did once you return that favour.
I know things are hard, but I think everything will be all right when you're there for me.
If there's one thing I wish for, it must be you.
Dear God, let me be good. Let me be as good as him. Let me be good for him.
I seriously can't thank you enough for being there for me today especially, yup working life is not fun at all and so much that I anticipated this, but I'd never expected your overwhelming support. You still try to make my day when life is a living hell in this office. You're the angel :) Nanti nak blanja dia makan lah. Biar dia gemuk sket. A treat for you toiling and slaving in the wee hours studying. I hope you don't worry so much for me..sorry for that, dear :P


Saturday, June 02, 2007

joyless joy

Lina Joy trial.
So the verdict is out.
Her long wait for her conversion to Christianity to be recognised by law is over - the Federal Court ruled that she remains a Muslim and her religious status will not be removed from her identity card.

As the people outside of Palace of Justice rejoiced, I can't stop but wonder why do I still feel unchanged? The eerie feeling of unsatisfaction.

At the very least I should join the crowd, okay I must admit I feel relieved that the decision made was grounded by legal and logic reasons. But thats that.

I feel unchangedly sad.
For the question to convert out of Islam to even arise, but my point is that, the country is not even Islamic enough to be able to to educate her people on Islam.

So why the brouhaha when somebody opts out of Islam?

When "they" are not doing the job to us Malaysian Muslims how to be good Malaysian Muslims.

Tell me they're not just dozens out there waiting to do the same.
Tell me that we're preventing the kids from doing bad. From becoming bad.
Tell me our country is safe.

Please do not hide these facts, I'm not a blue eyed boy who needs sheltering from big bad boys.I need to know how to react and protect myself.

The cancer in our society is emerging.
And Lina is not an epilogue.
It is the outcome of what our society had became.


Prevention is something.
Education is everything.



I just joined another firm.
As quirky as it sounds, yesterday was my first day at work at the new place.
So I texted the boss: So, shall I see you first thing in the morn,at the office?
Then came the reply: No, meet me at KLRCA at 10 am.

Where the? Not yet at the verge of getting panicky,called Ein and while trying not to sound so dorky,I asked for the directions.Ein said its in Jalan Conlay.

Me: Oh okay. (Jalan COnlay??? Can you be more specific) I think I know (what? where?)
Ein: alah, its like going to KLCC.
Me: Oh okay. (Aquaria pun mcm gi Klcc.Help!)
Me: But is it in a building (of course lah stupid af!)
Ein: No. Its A house, affie.

Alas I didnt sound sick asking if its in a building. Thank you for you kind direction, Ein. But when I arrived, reality is true to me that I'm no expert in litigation, nor am I in arbitration or construction law.
So chin's up as I shudder the whole meeting.
So when the boss apologised for the evening to be so daft, I said no.
He was more puzzled: betulke its not at least boring as hell?
I said no (oh boss, how can it be boring if everything sounds greek to me?)
Believe me,I was more gawk-eyed than I should be boring.
Because boredom is for those used to be in that same scenario over and over again.

So lunch came. The boss and I and the rep from the respondent marched to Eden (hoho).
Boss said I have the honours to order while the respondent's rep cheekily ordered lobsters and sharkfins soup and five more dishes while the boss was taking a call.

Of course, I can't speak Chinese so the boss knew it wasn't me who ordered. But still I felt so guilty (and stupid) when the food came. Aiyak! Banyak nak mampos.
Luckily the boss was only joking when he said "Oh Miss Harrison, you sure your card can swipe all this?"

I almost fainted.


toi plus moi =)

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