Tuesday, April 28, 2009

you're simply the best

Feeling 360 degrees different from yesterday.
Felt like I was vomitted out of spite from the brooding Black Clouds.

(yesterday I had stereophonic's Drowning in my head)
Had a rough day yesterday.

Clients and judges, demands and judgments.
And the extreme clashes of.
All in a day.

And I thought it could be solved with a bar of chocolate, but sometimes feeling good and having a positive outlook would and could not change anything
(yea, you guessed it right, I was never into Motivational talks and books).

Aku rasa buku2 tu poyo je, untuk dorang buat duit. Get real and face real life lah kot? But Aku suka tengok Oprah, sebab the feel good factor. But thats another story.

And so I pushed myself to the limit.
Dealt with the exceptional difficult client, the almost unrealistic expectations of and the opposite reaction by the court.
No wonder why so many friends left the Practice.
But yeah anyway.

That was yesterday.
Today I am full of energy, and this is evident by the 'background music' played and repeated in the office.

(Today I was singing to The Undeveloped Story by Anberlin) (biarla!)Dance all night haha!


To Mr K, thank you.
You're all I ever needed.
Taking all what others have hassled
Looking back to darker days getting me down
And if this is chaos
I think that I'm in love with clamor
Tides are turning
never understood my undeveloped story
But it makes sense to me, you make sense to me

When it all falls down, I'll still be right here
When it all falls down, we'll still be right here

Once in a lifetime, I could feel this way
Once in a lifetime, you could feel it too



Monday, April 27, 2009

of Avenged Sevenfold

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Fariz my brother would be proud of me.

Fariz a.k.a danny boy had introduced me to this band some time ago.
He's a fan, and conveniently his screen name is danny vengeance- but I stopped short the interest to listen further to their music because the first time he showed me their video clip, I almost had a heart attack seeing the Beast and the Harlot clip~ sangat setan!
That, and just because I was not convinced when he said "band ni macam Metallica junior".

When I hear that, my interest died.
No way Metallica jr.

We put Metallica on high a music pedestal.
Alah yah si peminat nasyid tu pun dengar Metallica.
Its like her anthem on the way to work. Siap request kat aku lagi suruh burn kan the complete set sebab she says it helps her to stay awake, and which she enjoys. She says she could only stand them, as compared to the family's regulars of Deep Purple, Rainbow and Pink Floyd.

So I thought, what could a teenage-angst band deliver so much to earn that title? duh. The only Metallica-wannabes that I could stand is Beatellica, and itupun sebab mereka adalah sangat lucu! Here's a song for you:

(don't you think the frontman sounds like James? kaan? kaan!)

oh about Avenged Sevenfold.

Mula-mula tu I really thought they were sorta biblical group because of their name.
You know, the story after Cain murdered his brother, it was warned that anyone want to avenge Abel's death would be punished sevenfold thereafter.
Hence Avenged Sevenfold. (Hehe pandai budak2 ni cari nama.)
Lagi pulak malas nak dengar. I hate preachy songs.

But the rock chick in me decided to just experience them, and....
Yup you guessed it. I'm hooked.
I found myself constantly repeating them.

Although they sound nothing like Metallica, but I can see their influences.
Sekarang ni mana la nak cari rock band. Ada pun yang lemau2 atau teramat emo (seperti Alesana yang aku tak faham sampai sekarang. Great Piano but err no thank you! I rather have my voice back) ataupun terlalu modern..

oh ye. Mereka adalah tidak preachy.
And I particularly liked M. Shadow's voice, the guitar riffs and the band's rhythm.
(Sila compare ye his voice and Good Charlotte's wimpy frontman's voice in The River) (tersangat wimpy sampaikan Youtube taknak bagi orang malaysia tengok the clip)

When I checked my itunes, it seems I have repeated A7X more than any other artistes.
If you're a heavy rock listener, I think you should give it a go.

here's Seize the Day, with a very touching story nonetheless
And there's always something about carpe diem song -seize the day lyrics that I listen to when I'm out having a rough day.

Or on a Monday, today I dragged myself out of the bed.
Bad dreams and teary eyed.

Avenged Sevenfold - Seize the Day.3GP - Watch more amazing videos here


Friday, April 24, 2009

pictorial of the day

This is an online shopping cart under my name, which my 3/4 better half have access to.

From the top:
1. Liverpool Long Sleeved w/o Carlsberg

2. Chelsea Black Long Sleeved Jersey

3. Adidas 3/4 Track Suit

4. Japan F.A Jersey

5. Chelsea Black Sweater Kit

6. Liverpool FC Kit Bag

7. and Chelsea Training Kit Jersey.

Only One Item is Mine.
The One on Top. Obviously.

no the Liverpool Kit Bag is his.
(cubaan ambil hati yeh.. hehe takpayahla..barang2 LFC tak marketable, semuanya tak cantik. Hehe. Tapi takpe.YNWA.)

Eh Mana gi Jersey AC Milan yeee?
And AC Milan all-weather jacket?

eh hilaang!

p/s: dia rambang mata bila tengok jersey banyak2. Siapa yang shopaholic nieyh!

His staple daily wear is alternate other teams jerseys, including those he swore off.
Being true to his passion to the beautiful game, he don't seem to mind donning even the Devils' jersey.
Though he tries not to wear so much of the CfC while going out or staying home with me. Hehehe. Fair lah. Aku pun tak de jersey Liverpool.
Naa we don't annoy each other with the team we support. :P

Oh malam ni aku akan berteater.
Mahsuri. The last I watched Mahsuri was when in highschool.
I love Fridays :D


Thursday, April 23, 2009

on being yoga first timer

studio w: taken from ninie ahmad's blog

Afterwork I head to Studio W~ and earlier I have spoken to Intan, the everhelpful, ever cheerful manager/instructor of my intention to join one of the yoga classes.
Afterall, since I have joined 'the knock yourself out' unlimited access, I said to myself, I might as well join the yoga class.

Hmm yoga.
I know I know, now its such a passe, and the huhaa to the Majlis fatwa on banning yoga have long since died. But my curiousity have not.

(encik encik makcik makcik, physical yoga is OK (without the chanting etc), though not encouraged as it is feared that one thing may lead to another= excerpt of the edict.)

The first session started with something called the alignment yoga, with the uber cool instructor named Reko (nama pun cool).

I asked Intan, what;s alignment yoga, she simply said its a yoga where you 'align' your body mechanics. Bagus la untuk orang yang bongkok sabut macam aku ini.

For my benefit, Reko demonstrated few hair-splitting moves, but after I tried it, it is not so bad. (Tapi confirm la tak boleh buat semua, Intan said not to force myself)

I can actually feel my body relaxing and boy I was wetting the yoga mat by my own sweat!
After a while I got the hook on the cat, moon (I like this the best haha) etc position. And unlike other Yoga instructor, Reko sometimes stopped to correct my positions, and the best part is she explained the benefit of every moves.

The verdict?
I like it!

I went home with all the muscle tension gone and yup, I felt lighter (although, my both feet shivers--partly my fault, I have never stretched enough).

Petang ni gwe nak pegi ber jazz pula!


Monday, April 20, 2009

if this sounds familiar to you..

Imagine you're attending a seminar, or an intellectual discourse (yuck. Later you know why. Intellectual laa sangat) with bunch of your friends.

Later after the whole thing wraps up, you and your friends head to the Lobby enjoy free hotel food duh to socialise with the other participants.
Networking purposes.

Everthing was fine.
Food is great.
And your friends, just like you, who were never serious, was all goofed-up by the serious semantics.

Until this lady comes to you, with a certain urgency, to talk to you and your friends.
You know this type of ladies, she who smiles too quickly as her hand extends to you and grab you for a cheek-hug three times (kalau kau budak UIA kau tau kot).

Still fine.
She start introducing herself, when we all knew her already.
And she start poking question "what's you name?"

Stillllllll fine.
Until she start asking "oh you anak siapa ye? ikhwah mana ye?"

And then the expected befalls:

You two friends got her personal number, while you didn't just because you told her "you're no one she knows' daughter".
My friends, apologising, saying that "ala maybe they wanted to say hi to their friends", when they know, its all bull~ they don't even talk to each other.

I cringe. But I don't care.
Happens to me all the time. Just because my parents tak masuk organization mana-mana, does not make them less important.

Hello at least, I get off anywhere not because of my parents' name, but their guidance.
Cronyism. Sangat memualkan.

Hilang respek aku kat mereka2. At least be subtle la kan?


Sunday, April 19, 2009

uswah tag ku

So, here are the rules of the tag
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

Uswah susahnya tag ni. can't do it without a clear head of not leading it to the only one I know.
Ok in general k:

1. bukan mat rempit
apa-apa la. Yang tak terlibat dengan aktiviti tak sehat. U get my drift.

2. a debonair
flowers, poems, songs, soft spoken words, gentle manners. Yes women are silly that way.

3. serious sports player
unless you want another homer. Eh itu pon dia main bowling kan.
Yet I find it weird when men don't do sports.

4. a home minder
you know. The one who would always be around to give you a helping hand, and do home projects. It takes two to tango, and we're talking about building lives together, why leave it to the women to slave it out.

5. not male chauvanist
Especially those who takes women as their tools to amuse themselves. Because you don't want to go home to a egomanic chauvanist thats why.Its totally a genetic flaw in Adat Temenggung.

6. bukan UMNO. Hmmmmm or Malaysian Politics at all cost, for that matter.
(huuu ni memang confirm..alhamdulillah) related to No.1.

7. best of friends
I remember my former boss told me, you don't marry a face. So do not go for looks. You don't marry wealth, you couldn't be always lucky. But marry your best friend who would share your secret giggles, partner your gossip, hold your hands not because its romantic to do so, lend you a shoulder to cry on, accompany you to your girly concerts, beat the hell out of your tennis game for two and share you life like you share you coffee in the evening talks.

8. Truthful
all the seven above is useless, if no. 8 is absent.Kan kan?

Tag eight. Hmmmm

I'll tag Shu Fad Atie Aja Nik Sasha Ein Asni Hida.

Nope comments not allowed. Heh.


Friday, April 17, 2009

kueh lapis

I was down with a slight fever, so I took an mc so that I could sleep through the day.
My aching back had been mercilessly got me curled in pain yesterday, but when I woke up at 11 today, it's all gone.

Like a charm.

Mother would vouch if I'd been given an mc, I'll never stay put at home longer than 11.
True enough, at noon I made my way to Terminal 2 to renew my passport, (Karen had advised me to start queuing from 7 am )but I decided just to gamble my luck.

All done even before 3. Not bad huh?
While waiting, we had lunch at Restoran Selera Pantai Timur,10 minutes drive from the Subang Airport serving mouth watering Ikan Bakar, another alternative for Ikan Bakar Jalan Bellamy.

There it was right before my eyes.

I can't help but to feel nostalgic everytime I see kueh lapis.
It made me miss my Atokne.

When I was little, I thought grandmothers live forever.
I saw her pictures doting my youngest auntie, and for a five year old, that seems a whole lot of a century.

My Atokne was from a blue blood lineage, but despite that, she lived a hard life during the Japanese invasion era and maybe just like the rest of the girls during her time, she never had the opportunity to have proper education.

But this did not hinder her to learn, and I knew she was one of the few who followed "kelas dewasa" to learn how to read. At times I saw her reading newspapers, page to page, not skipping anything.

I would always remember her as the stern-type grandmother, the family house in the village is always a tip-top condition, the leaves surrounding it would be swept clean even before breakfast. But yet food is always kept to the traditional minimum~ a Johorian trait I guess, Ikan asam pedas and some other greens. But that's it.

I remember wanting to eat this cadbury chocolate, but she kept it secured far from my reach.
As a 7 year old, there's nothing more you could be upset about.
That day I kept sulking, though I didn't show this to her (I was afraid of the bigger mess if I made a big issue by throwing tantrums, my was I that obedient?!) but later that day, she secretly called me and gave me half of the chocolate bar. I never understood this.

But I sort of knew she had always made me feel special.
Once, I had been wanting to eat Kueh Lapis so much, and she made it for me.
And this we're talking about someone who have kept food simple and just enough for the day.
She made it even before I woke up but she never said anything about it. When I sunk my teeth to the pink and whites, I could tell you I was almost near to tears.

And sometimes, she would store the best tasting durian tempoyak and the best jem manggis into small plastic containers, as Mother would tell me, Atukne would tell her, "Afzan suka ni".

I never understood her ways, she was always serious, and I was always the tomboy trouble-maker, and not quite the hardworking Johorian type you know what I mean. So we were not really bestfriends of sorts, but when she was bed ridden I could not bear seeing her in that condition, and often I feel envious to my uncle who could serve and treat her so well.
Somehow, I felt my "special zone" encroached.
My heart broke when she died.

I miss my Atokne.
I guess its true that grandmothers live forever, in the hearts of their granddaughters.

Raja Zabedah Raja Ahmad Ambok Ewak.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

the house that jack built

Being in a firm that does 99% construction matters, I have been fortunate to learn the deeper insights of contractual law and technicalities of building construction.

But that's just that.
Being said that, I miss involving in other legal scopes, and I still wonder about other issues.
I still gape for answers if random laymen ask me random questions like probate, family law or even sometimes, corporate and conveyancing.

More often than not, my reply would be in general idea, or rather in the spirit of legal common sense, to what I have learnt before. (ahh university education helps hah) Why, even my mother had stopped giving me (sometimes absurd) legal scenarios of 'what ifs', for I suspect she gets tired of the generality of my answers.

But you know, the best degree is by experience.
And I have sort of limited myself.
In three years of PQE that is.
(Baru tiga tahun, oowiee?) but all I know revolves around contractors per se.

To some its purely rubbish, when you're a lawyer everyone expects you to become Jack of All Trades. But I can only tell Phua Chu Kangs and Chu Bengs' cases, but not Rosie and Margarets' issues.

usual clients (big boss in boots) and family

So when a friend of mine asked why (or how) did I get involve, I told her its pure fate (rather than luck).

Me, having convinced (by now I know I was dead wrong) that all firms are the same, I set foot in my chambering firm JUST because it would be convenient for me pool a ride with my Mother daily, whose office is just three blocks away.
And so there I started doing construction matters.
And even when I was called to the bar, I got myself cluelessly into this construction firm.

So there. Sigh.

I feel left out. And scared.
Intimidated by all the Jacks of All Trade out there, in this house only Jack built.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

United Subang Jaya I

45 minutes to lunch break.
I can barely work on further the submissions (have I really..nevermind).

Just to kill the time, (ohh tidak Alakun, aku takkan updet match yang aku tak tengok. Tapi 4-4 Liv vs CFC. Mesti Best), I decided to blog about something that is close to the heart:


I live somewhere in USJ, the ultra-compact version of Subang Jaya.
Where everyone seems to have >5 cars per house, and only two way out to Kuala Lumpur.
Horrendous Jam, expected, and living out to its name U Suka Jem (USJ).

I'll be an irate neighbour every single time I come home to find my parking space outside the house is taken by the next door kiasu neighbour.
They have four cars, and so do we.
The only difference is that they have widened their gates,(and we have not. Yet) and conveniently chose to part in front of our house. Sukati je kan.

And if you're coming from KL, you realise that so much road construction, flyovers and at least 3 different highways connected to USJ.
All this to cater the USJ people.

And then we have Taipan, where it has everything a little neighbourhood can offer.
Including headache -inducing in-town traffic.

I think I've to blame the developer, into not thinking carefully about the possibility of the place being overpopulated.

Now there are some talks about building a LRT station near Taipan (I can't see where could it possibly fit in Taipan though), at least something.

But for now, I'll wait longer to drive back home.

Just in time, when all work done for the day, to go home nicely after the peak hours cease.
And then you can see why USJ is not a bad place to live afterall.


Friday, April 10, 2009

an apple a day when the doctor is away..

What shall I engrave here?

oh Yah don't get mad.

My goodfriend CJ had gotten me an ipod as a pre-wedding present, and eversince I had been on the ipod bug~ like magic, like a charm, like adolescence, inseperable from music.
(memang salah kau la dude) hahaa

And suddenly few music a day is not enough.
Now faithfully browsing ideas to engrave the new package.

Definitely not a fanboy, but (lost at word of self-defence) err can a 15 hours of train journey substantiate as a valid reason? No?
Or when the Other Doctor (not the abovementioned) is away with his busy schedules, I can kill the time while waiting for him and listening to the ipod in the library? No?

I'm Pathetic.

Maybe I should engrave it just that.
Err No.

maybe I should give myself another few days to get tired wit
h the Ipod I have now. Duit bukannya ada!
Nafsu oh Nafsu!


Thursday, April 09, 2009


I was playing chess online while skyping with Mr K (not with him. Segan. Dia terer)

I told him my observation from watching professionals play that they never 'promote' their pawns to become Queens upon reaching the opposite end. Kenapa eh?

Mr K : maybe its their style kot. Macam step yang murah je.

Af: would you?

Mr K: Buatpe. I won't change my queen. Abg ada satu je.

Dan saya terus berhenti bermain chess. Hehe (tak senonoh main2 plak masa tengah berskype)
Swwwweet la dia kan kan kan.


..and then what?

Here's the thing:

My Boss, the Big Engineer Man himself, had been persistently asking me WHEN will I take up my Masters (which we had started to discuss a year ago)

And happily encouraged me to apply somewhere that offers postgraduate C.E and then flatly puts to me "imagine how good it would look in our company file (which Casey had diligently kept it updated annually).

I guess a degree is tad too short for him who has pages long credentials.
(Him double professional degrees and some other postgrad certs. Adoi)

While I was known as a notoriously laidback student, a struggling one, a scatterbrain of sorts and obviously NOT genius! (I think he discovered this after sometime. Hahaha)

I think its partly my fault.
I had been very very diligent in following up with the progress of the discipline... and he knows it.
I was very eager to learn (still is but...) and had shown it to him. Sometimes, exaggerated.

When I first joined the Co., I promised myself that I would be an asset yo Co. that they can't bear to lose. And now I'm trapped.

What he does not know (oh dear God..please don't let him google me up) is this:

1. Suddenly my furthering of studies is motivated by things dis-associated with the Co.
2. Maybe because I have recently short-termed the Co.

He's unaware of this. Of course.
He said he wants me to grow with The Co.

I AM SO roasted.

Ohhh you guilty conscience, go awayyyyyyyyyyy.



Wednesday, April 08, 2009

a referendum of sorts

Bukit Gangtang and Bukit Selembau over Batang Ai.
A referendum that the rakyat is not that gullible anymore.
And not tied to singular ketuanan, but moreover to ketuanan rakyat.
Bla bla bla.
If I were a political analyst, I would have a lot to comment.

Bla bla bla.
But I'm not.

I'm just a wife to a wonderful man, waiting to her August break, eagerly counting the days.
Ha ha.

And all this happenings do take out the 'missing something?' feeling.

I seem to have put my working zone out to the max so that when I come back home, I come back home really zoned-out and tired.

And I elastically shorten my me-time by watching the tv with mom, something that I was not used to do, watching the tube oooooo.

And I spend time having meaningful conversations with friends, who gave deeper insights when I listen more than I talk.

And all the books they got me, is another milestone for me as books recommended by them is not the usual books I would buy.

And all this political happenings gave me something to laugh and ponder about, that I think I can quit my day job and write a book about it.

I'm busy out there, but in here.....

Truth is, I miss having him here.
No matter what I do, I still can't shake the feeling off.
Sob sob.

140 days to go.


Monday, April 06, 2009

N with the Niceties.

Too early to tell.

Read all the newspaper, it seems Malaysia have a new saviour.

I hope he continues all the good things happened to us in the weekend, as we've seen Dr M done the same in 1981 and Pak Lah in 2003 when they became PMs- it all rolled nice and we were eager eyed Malaysians smiling alas for a change!

But then as the days go by....

Oh well.
All the best, to the new PM.

After all, its no easy task.
I'm sure you're all set for the dejavu, watching your father at work, and now you're at his chair.

If I'm able to meet you someday, and we'll have a chat for a tea, I might just tell you this.
And that crime is not reducing, police force is equally frightening.
And the rich is not closing the gap, they're getting richer and the poor remains where they are.
Donwntrodden and desperate.
You probably have the statistics. You know more than I do.
But its so different to tell the story from the outside looking in.

End the niceties.
And its all real work.


toi plus moi =)

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