Saturday, March 29, 2008

being father

In NST today:
One man is pregnant with a child.
The other 'microwaved' his two month old baby.

Thomas Beatie was once a woman, inseminated himself and claimed that he is 5 months pregnant. He is jubilated on the prospect of being a father with his wife, Nancy.

Joshua Mauldin is sentenced to 25 years in prison for severely burning his infant daughter, Ana, after putting her her in a microwave and turning it on for 20 seconds. He claimed insanity and is said to be depressed from a loveless marriage.

I remember there was once this ad from Saathci & Saatchi (yerp the best avert co. in the world. The one that started to 'advertise' on the Berlin wall) about a pregnant man with a message that says:

would you be more careful if it was you that got pregnant?

Being a mother is not easy.
Maybe its time you men should really appreciate mothers (women in general, and girls alike).


Friday, March 28, 2008

Danger! woman ahead.

Found this in my gmail. Maybe outdated (as I seldom check my gmail inbox) but still hilarious!

Men, no need to be afraid of us.

You're the one getting extinct, so better act fast!


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

saying right things right

Got this fs message from a friend:

Date: 03/26/2008 3:49 pm
Subject: Re: cik kak
Message: i only say things i mean
no time for being a hypocrite
i dont know how some people do it
must be exhausting n draining

Ah you.
A very sincere friend. A true beauty.
Sorry that you're leaving next month...but I wish you the best of your new life in Johor!


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

have wheels will travel

The last time I ran was weeks ago as my adidas trainers were left in Serdang.
But that few days of zilch cardio workout gave me a hard time to even breathe.

I just turned 25 last week but Uncle Tan next door ran even faster than I can!

While waiting for my trainers to actually walk to me back home, I keep myself happy (and my body~ in a very sorry state I guess) by gardening.

But maybe, just maybe~ I'm having my mid mid life crisis (e.g #1gardening?) (and what about #2 the mad shopping spree in Fotokem?) but right now I really want to go mountain biking.
(Blame syerotte for this Number three madness.)

I used to have a MTB Bike, complete with frontal fork suspension, but I left it to rut in the bicycle shade in Nusaybah, IIU.

Not that intended to (leave it to rut) but that bike was once stolen and when I found it, the bike was chained and locked by the new owner thief. Sukati je.

The thing is I was ym~ing today with Syerotte who said she had fun mountainbiking for 5 hours in Southampton made me miss the time I used to do the same. Giler ah. Memang sangat best.
But she said on caution that a sore bum is unavoidable if the bike is puchased from Giant etc. (read: cheap bikes) Haha. But I told her I'm not going to cycle too long. So the bum will not sore so bad, so I don't think I mind so much.

Truth is, maybe I'm a bit concerned if I can find such time, the weather in Malaysia will not permit me follow what Syerotte do in for her pastime.
Where she is in the, the 'kabus' is not smoke from passing vehicles but real mist.
And people will not jeer or cat-call you just because you're a girl on a bike.
Damn la this kampung mentality.

I was browsing through Ebay and I came across so many of modern bikes. Didn't know that so much technology can be applied to a b-i-c-y-c-l-e.

Anyway, my favorite is the red-framed bike. Just the size for my height, and its tailored for ladies =)

Oooh aaaahs all the way.


hadith pt,1; of patience

Some Ansari persons asked for (something) from Allah's Apostle (saw) and he gave them.
They again asked him for (something) and he again gave them.
And then they asked him and he gave them again till all that was with him finished.
And then he (saw) said "If I had anything, I would not keep it away from you.
(Remember,) whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient.
And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient.
Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience."

Narrated by Abu Said Al-Khudri (ra); Sahih Bukhari transmitted it. Vol 2:#548 of Sahih Bukhari.

The Prophet (Saw) passed by a woman who was weeping beside a grave.
He told her to fear Allah and be patient.
She said to him, "Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine."
And she did not recognize him.
Then she was informed that he was the Prophet (saw).
So she went to the house of the Prophet (saw) and there she did not find any guard.
Then she said to him, "I did not recognize you."
He (saw) said, "Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity."

Narrated by Anas bin Malik (ra); Sahih Bukhari transmitted it. Vol 2:#372 of Sahih Bukhari.


I heard Allah's Apostle (saw) saying, "Allah said, 'If I deprive my slave of his two beloved things (i.e., his eyes) and he remains patient, I will let him enter Paradise in compensation for them."

Narrated by Anas bin Malik (ra; Sahih Bukhari transmitted it. Vol 7:#557 of Sahih Bukhari.

moi ipod dropped from a moving car.
sigh. deliberate or carelessly dropped, it can either be replaced, or lost forever.
SA said: Bersangka baiklah kepada Tuhan dan bersabarlah..


Sunday, March 23, 2008

kop melingkop

I would fly to the moon and back
you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong

So would you be my baby?

-To the moon and back

seriously stupid.
I will fire Rafa first thing in the morning.

Good luck Arsenal. May you have the same luck bashing the yuck blues.

I just came back from Ipoh, from my Mr K's brother's wedding.
It feels weird being in his home without him.
And I really felt the hours were long to and fro...
Feels weird as well travellin sans Mr K

(There was once Zaza and Atie became the unfortunate passengers while Mr K was driving from Alor Star to Ipoh. Took him 5 hours to reach Ipoh. Normally the journey would take 3.30 hours).
But I How come we're in Ipoh already?
Why did the time passes so quickly when you're with me....

Came across this express coach on the way back from Ipoh.

copy and pasted from the website

I don't want to be in one.
Even when and if they offer free burials..


Saturday, March 22, 2008

new toy of old age

Got a new toy for my birthday.

A new dslr!!
(thank you abg suhail for recommending Canon, instead of Nikon)
*Big Grin*

But I wished I could've been more sensitive last night, but I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
To her...I'm sorry.

Otherwise its all good.
Though the pressies arrived earlier....
(Indian couriers can be so unpredictably early/late and younger sister just can't keep a suprise a secret nor can the officemates waste their precious weekends to show up in office and not that the old purse can hold on any longer. ) Haha.
You people. Sweet.
Thank you.

Happy Birthday to W.H.N, celebrating today.
You'd always been one of the good company...
And God only test those who have strength and faith in him.
You have all my prayers and respect..

And to S.L the twin I've never had..
Have a happy birthday party ait..
You're the very opposite of me, thought what we order for food is rarely different (scary!) and I wish you all the best in love and life.


Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I'm called by so many names.
To most of my girlfriends; I'm known as 'dale' to them.

Easiest explanation is that callsign is somehow attributed to my 'dopey' character (as in dale, from chip n dale rescue rangers) but its actually because back in school I was the smallest.
Hence ker-dil.
Did I say I was the smallest?
Second smallest.
The tiniest girl is Elyani.
Guess what.
She is known as kenit.

Family call me by the first syllable of my first name.
Nobody sensible calls me 'Zan',
Or people trying to be funny will add a Mr to my second name and act surprise to know that I'm a female. Har har.


Names aside. That has got nothing to do with the posts I'm about to blog now.
Who says my train of thought can be followed?
Except if I tell you the reason, it might gives you a trail of a hint to the bubbles in my brain.
I was thinking about it so much in my head that it gives you nonsense out of it.
But I figure this time, I'll write it. Blog about it.

I've a friend.
People call her Amy.
But I call her Ames.
As in James. Yeah. Ames.

She's beautiful.
She's the kind of girl you would always associate with Dior perfumes, ballet classes and good PR.
Both girls and boys like her alike. Enjoyed her presence.
When I was back in school, I often think she's an alien, to be all so perfect.
Sometimes when the playwright mode of me made me pen a drama, I'll have her as the heroine.
Smart, beautiful and angelic.
That's why I never thought I'll meet her again.
She's so.. 'up there'. Like she belonged only to the Ivy League.

But I saw her again.
Spent almost a day in fact with her.
If not for the goofy nickname 'dale', I would've dismissed her recognising me.
Mad woman, I'll say.

But she called me dale.
And she has changed.

HIV changed her.

One reason why I thought if anyone saying hi to me is mad is because at I was at The Centre.
And at The Centre, there are no friends.
No familiar faces.
Only ill stricken patients on their deathbeds.


I don't know how to face her again.
I was thinking if I could avoid going to The Center.

How could a girl like Ames end up there?
I'm not being judgmental. But it affects me.

When I am The Centre, it was always about other people.
It's always about someone's niece, someone else's mom.
But not somebody you knew.

Its eating me inside.
Its been a week since the last I met her and I can't stop thinking about her.

I know I have to go back to her.
To the lovely Ames.....
Even if it means I can never get her back to the way she used to be.


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

syurga itu,,

hanya selirik matanya terucap
sebentang lautan tenangnya
di dalam jiwa
hingga ke syurga

hanya sekuntum senyumnya
sekilas teguhnya cinta
ke dalam hati
hingga ke syurga

dialah bidadari
dalam lirik matanya
dari manis senyumnya
tersimpan gagahnya cita

dialah serikandi
tenangnya wajah
dalam silaunya gemilang
atau dalam kusamnya gelap

dia segalanya
hingga ke syurga.

selamat hari jadi...


Monday, March 17, 2008

tazkeerah, pt.2

Telah berkata sebahagian ulama salaf:

"Hendaklah kamu berpegang teguh kepada kebenaran, dan janganlah berasa sunyi (atau sedih) kerana melihat jumlah yang kecil yang berjalan di atasnya.

Sebaliknya, jauhilah kebatilan, dan janganlah kamu tertipu kerana melihat jumlah yang ramai di atasnya."

(Madarijus Salikin - Ibn Qaiyim Al-Jauzi Jilid 1 halaman 22)

Getting busy.
At least I get to actually condone my LLB ('look like busy') degree for real now.


Sunday, March 16, 2008

my favourite youtube

him.the football icon in manipal =)
bends better than becks.

mon prince de Perse, mon petit ami fou du football.
Vous êtes le meilleur.
Je t'aime.


Friday, March 14, 2008

wake up call

Received a call from a friend early in the morning.
Her sister passed away peacefully, in her sleep.



Another wake up call for me, last night, after meeting with the Legalaiders in Bau Bau and afterward Strudels Bangsar, I realised that I would be mad to think that no one gives a damn.

The worried look upon P's face actually made me feel ok.
After a month of caving in, after the big assurance from K.L that everything will alright, I felt relieved.
It was a revelation for me, to actually being able to feel that things are going to be better, that I'm going to be stronger. I know I'm more matured and wise now.. No more kids' stuff. Now we only deal with the real deal.

Well, there goes the saying: what doesn't kill you, can only make you stronger.....

Thank you.
Esp to FN, P, S, K.L, RW, RK.
And ofcourse, to KA =D
You know who you are.

Oh ya.
People, please please make it to the AGM this Saturday.
10 am.
We need your support, so please stay until the end of the AGM.


Thursday, March 13, 2008


Group Description:
Not-So-Very IIU bermaksud: - tak islamic sgt kot - bleh tahan sosial gak - g klas x ikut dresscode - slalu ponteng klas - blaja stakat nk dpt degree jer - main game slalu - berkapel & dating slalu - tido seharian - etc.. sila tambah mane yg patut kene ade etlis salah satu ciri diatas baru leh masuk grup nih... yg alim/baik xperlu la nk join... mahasiswa united aku ban, yg sewaktu dgnnyer pun aku ban...

Mediocre thinking at its best.
Nama je budak uni. I mean while I was studying, i wasn't all that good as well (would anyone claim themselves as one?) but there a lot, I guess who would rather associate themselves with disassociation of anything good.


Monday, March 10, 2008

march into good tidings

I like the month of march.
I was born in the month of March.
March the 8th brought BN to their knees.
More to the people power (did you vote?)
And me to my spanking-new office in BU8.
Huge library (I love it)
March is a new hope. New era.

But I loved February, too.
And January not less the same.
There's not a month in any year I hate, nor there is a day or a week or any year I wished I didn't have to go through.
Though not a secret that I'm looking extra-forward to September and March 2009) Aha.

I guess we all need an excuse to celebrate, a label to name, a number/thing to relate.

Ooops. Gotta go.


Friday, March 07, 2008


(my label says 'yours truly', so expect a mushy2 irrelevant post for the rest of the world.)

At GMT +5.30, it was only 7.30 am in his morning.
And he just woke up and while he was hurrying to go his dissection hall, he called me.
But at the other side of the planet, it was almost 10.30.

Late by Malaysian standard, lucky this week I'm not working.
And I myself just woke up, too.

Last night we had lil Alya, Kak Di and Abg Pit for dinner.
I was still tired from the stupid jam from Gombak to USJ (thank God for NKVE) and my three-month old new tyre got flat (got it fixed. Valve problem.) and my mother was worried that the guests would have to wait any longer for me to come home from my one day meeting in IIU.
Yes I was tired.
And exasperated that my usual 2.30 am was not interrupted by him.
I was sound asleep as he was, a tiring day for both of us.
So the usual night talk got skipped because the King and his Queen fell asleep.

So the 25 minutes talk this morning felt short, I was glad to hear his voice.

I was still listening to his 'i'm-talking-to-her-mode-voice', suddenly it was gone.
The line went dead.

I might have, in my raised temperament, would hang up the call if I got mad.
Excuse my misgivings, but I am a woman.
Somehow I got my share of drama queen days too.
And allowed to live it extremely once in a month.
(Sorry dear) But knowing him, for almost four years and counting, would never kill the line.

Five minutes later, I received an sms from an unfamiliar number. It goes:

syg, my hp dh kene rampas dgn lecturer...

Hoi no calls/sms allowed in class lah cik.

But I was smiling.
Why he rather skipped his breakfast for a 25 minutes call just to have his cellphone confiscated.

165 jours à aller.
Mais vous savez que je vous attendrai.

Even it means I have to wait for you to get your cellphone back. Haha.

Je t'aime.


Thursday, March 06, 2008

tazkeerah pt.1

death is everyone's final destination.
How you die, when and why, we will never know.
Maybe now, maybe five minutes later,maybe in twenty years.
Maybe when you're playing, or when you're sleeping.
In a car crash or heart attack.

But there's only one way to die.
Die in faith.
Return to Allah.


Wednesday, March 05, 2008

le coeur parle pour vous

Mon amour, mon prince de Perse, mon compagnon d'âme, mon ami, mon mari.
C'est vous amour de I vraiment.
Ne doutez pas de ceci.
Je peux seulement vous aimer.

Ils peuvent tout aller à l'enfer.
Nous serons de retour ensemble.
Nous monterons les marées élevées, loin de tous, en Espagne, et vivrons dans le Saoudien.
Nous serons heureux.
Pour toujours ensuite.
Je t'aime.


Monday, March 03, 2008


[post deleted].


Saturday, March 01, 2008

counting pains

24 weeks.
Another pint of blood drops.

168 days.
A dissembled heart continues to flutter.

Its always about them, I thought.
Almost screamed in my temple.

Never again.
I don't want to go there.
Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

They all can doom the same.
This heart of mine will not beat for them.
And the blood in me, will never spill for them.

They are all one.
And I am not them.
Never will be.
Their heaven is up above in mine.
But to hell doth it feel.

The hours will disappear.


toi plus moi =)

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