kingdom come

Beta raja blog ni.
Sukati beta lah nak tulis pasal pape pon.

Kalau beta nak tulis panjang-panjang pasal kerjaya beta ke, pasal encik K yang sangat sweet tu ke.
Sukati beta lah kan.

Tapi kingdom beta ni, bukan mutlak.
Beta yang tulis blog, tapi engine blog ni pakar-pakar IT blogspot yang buat.
Hampeh bukan depa pon yang cipta kod HTML pon.

So beta tak boleh claim hak mutlak blog ni hanya disebabkan beta login dengan pasword beta, post pic2 dari camera beta dan terkadang dicilok dari google, kan?

Jadi beta tak boleh la buat sesuka ati macam blog ni beta yang punya kan?
Arakian banyaklah malaun malaun yang bakal dicerca dihina dan beta pula mungkin disabitkan dengan sedition act tak pasal.

Undang-undang.
Oh beta tertakluk kepada undang-undang. Tak boleh la buat suka ati walaupun beta tuan punya blog ni, raja blog ni.

Sebab satu-satunya Raja yang tidak tertakluk dengan apa-apa undang-undang adalah Raja Sekalian Raja, Raja sekalian Alam. Yang beta dan kamu kamu percaya dan sembah.


Faham?

*sambil beta dengar Metallica lagu King Nothing dan raja firm beta encik Bos lalu sambil menjegilkan matanya bulat. Hahaha.

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good morning!

After subuh prayer, I watched Slumdog Millionaire on the DVD player.
Highly recommended by Kak Lat, and I was just dead nervous on the outcome of today's matter, so I kinda need a pacifier.

You know me, the more panic the situation is, the more pacified I can become.
E.g I'll sleep the soundest during the toughest exam.

And today's matter, after more than 6 months haunting me, I need more than a sleep (which, if you have been following this blog, you know I lack of).

Muka yang tak berjerawat selama ni pun tibe2 ada dua jerawat batu!!
Stress to the max and I really need to chill.

So I watched Slumdog and... fell in love all over again.

The movie made me realised something about destiny*.
Well, I tried my best, didn't I? If its meant to be, its meant to be lah.

*Specifically on today's court matter lah.
I tried. If my application is dismissed, they're always be Appeal.
But I'll always try. As hard as I could.
And if even that fails..haha at least I bought some time off from my client.
(In this case I'm the Defendant counsel..
Er hello, its an open secret that Defendants would just try to buy more time off..hahah.)

I felt happy and found myself singing to Jonas' Bros LoveBug all the way to court.
I know, nuts and bolts, but never Love Bug. Haha.
Subconsciously happy.

And guess what?
I got my Order in Terms with cost!!
(Here's for you, damn crook lawyer! Read this posts to know more what happened)
Payback is sweet.


To my better half who is now half the world away in exams, may you have the bestest luck too! Love you, and can't hardly wait for you to come back home to me..
:)

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frayed sanity

Today is one of the days I didn't want to wake up.
Lost in thoughtless dreams where clouded feelings gather and dissipate.
As quick as the next dream.

Real world is too much for me to take.
In split hour I found myself in the court room, beginning questions I couldn't pose, and asnwering things I don't quite comprehend. Totally out of touch, I feel like ditching work today.
At home the tension did not fade way. And the temporary sleep, as you and I might agree, is the only way for a quick fix for peace, without effort, without energy.

The only thing is, I can't.
Blinking in the dark and nothing else.
I just want to sleep.

Real world is too much.
Take me home.

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yield

Oooook.
I finally cannot avoid from keeping it a secret that I'm getting married in two weeks time.

*gets excited*

Kengkonon this blog is never meant to be on the extreme of personal jots, but hey, this would be one of the biggest turn in one's life and... I think I can give myself the excuse :P

Its no easy task, this wedding thingy, I can assure you, albeit the real intention is motivated to have the whole function simple. And sweet.

Its the first wedding in the family and we're quite amateur in this business, serious kelam kabut..
but along the way we found wonderful people that have actually help us alot. Wonderful people. InsyaAllah semoga everthing is as smooth too.

With the help of the angelic superwoman, aka the wedding planner aka soulsister F.E, everything is under control (yeah with heaps of flowers and dashes of more flowers here and there one might wonder when did I became so girlish ~I'm not! hahhaa me don't understand the art of flowers, and I shall leave it at the hands of the professional) If its were left up to me, confirm sangat cincai.

So Farzeera, thank you :) you're superb. Crazy. And Cool.
I can never thank you enough.

So far the preparations have been kept under the radar.
Today after the LegalAid meeting (congrats Ravin, Fadiah, Leena & Valen), the loyar lawyer Puspa and I head to Semua House for last minute veil shopping.
To this Farhana said "af aku respect kau separuh mati! rilek semacam"
Hahhahahaaa.

What's importand for me is just the wedding with my beloved Mr K, not really a huha grande perfectly perfect wedding.
One must be with emotions, and with emotions, it'll be of a human touch.
We're not mechanical robots producing flawless productions, macam wedding yang korang tengok kat Nona..ahh sungguh kayu.. you know what I mean.
I'll just have it sweet and blissful.

Pray for us yeah :P

And so the cards have (some) been distributed.
Those who knew me well would say "this is so Afzanic".

No.. its not in black and shouts of red blood and goth. Hoi Hoi!

Oh well. Here's to us, darling.
To you, see you on the 28th, insyaAllah.

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my three hours

wasted.
Stuck in the car.
Because of Le Tour de Langkawi.



Bagus jugak. I can cancel the meeting in Jalan Conlay with an impatient, inconsiderate grumpy client. Bagus jugak.

Sour grape sungguh aku. Terlepas seafood waaaaa

Aahh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober? -Pink Sober

yesss three hours in the Car. Thank God I ripped so many mp3s into audio CDs Kept me sober :D
majulah cetak rompak untuk kadar jem di ibu negara
Okey la dari aku mengamuk kaan. You don't want me turn into a green monster yang makan orang2 LTDL. Rosak promo Mari Melawat Malaysia.

Oh. Sour grape juga suka tengok orang berbasikal. Hehe.

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retour a vega

Woke up at ten.
Called in the office to say I'll be coming late. Got home late last night from a funeral.


My mind had been travelling at the speed of light nowadays and now for a pit stop in Montreal.
Not Montauk, but oh well, still, its a long way from home.

*That's it, here I go again, I'm dividing into two
I'm both the actor and the scenery
Don't know where I go, where I go should I know?
I go nowhere but I go at full speed
The breath of the trucks, the alienating sun
On the roof of the Brancroft Building at Montreal..

Was thinking about a friend, who had just lost her mother last night.
She needs all the strength she can gather, the loss of a mother is extremely painful.
Can't imagine myself in her shoes, and no comforting words can be right enough.
I just didn't know what to say.

And I thought of another friend who resorted her ways into drinking.
She texted me to say now she knows why people drink, and she would've done it earlier if she knew the alcohol would take her pain away. Albeit temporary.
And drink she did all night long.

I feel frustrated. Bodoh.
You can't runaway and hide yourself against the opaque glass of JDs, you know that.
I can't save you, if you don't want to be rescued.

oh yes, MBE. Another french song for you.
Sometimes, when you don't understand completely something, you'll feel more connected. Hiding in the shadows of abstracity, the foreign sounding words, everything alien that comforts.

It is where won't see unison of things, or the absence of familiarity, where all you want is a place to belong. That's why we always want to be different from the others.

*Ca y'est c'est reparti je me divise en deux
Je suis toute a la fois l'acteur et le décor
Je ne sais ou je vais ou jamais le saurais-je
Je ne vais nulle part mais a toute de vitesse
L'haleine des camions le soleil alienant
Sur le toit du Bancroft building a Montreal

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To Lily

Ya Allah! Tuhan sekelian manusia, hilangkanlah bahaya, sembuhkanlah; Engkaulah Penyembuh tiada kesembuhan kecuali dari Engkau kesembuhan yang tidak diikuti penyakit.



“Tidaklah menyatu (rasa takut dan harapan) dalam hati seorang hamba pada saat seperti ini (sakit) kecuali Alloh mengabulkan harapannya dan memberikan kepadanya rasa aman dari apa yang ditakutkannya.” (HR:At-Tirmidzi dengan sanad hasan)

Be Strong, babe.
We will always be there for you.

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Toi plus moi

Apprehension gets the best of my sugar high modus.
Maybe overdosed by chocolates, now the after-effect isn't so nice.
Like going downhill and trodden soon after the high flying emotions.

I'm not actually melancholic, wrong word~wrong timing and no reason~ don't know how to describe how I feel but I got this song that echoes the melodies of the heart.


Overplayed on my sunday morning. *
Just how I feel right now for few days. So sweet, so beautiful it hurts.
(maybe I can get it played on the day itself?)

Toi + Moi.
21 days it is.

Come on, let's go.


*Hope Mrs Tan tak complain. (Atleast aku tak nyanyi sekali tergeliat lidah aku nyanyi wehhh bayangkan sangat disaster)
** For english translation of the song, click on the right arrow at the right corner of the vid.

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dah la tak sedap..evil pulak tu

note: ni bukan starbucks. Ni black canyon coffee, malaysian made youuu. Serious boleh layan.

For the Davids (and the rats who'd think that 1 person can't really make a difference) read this:

Starbucks Takes Another Hit
Remember when seemed like an unstoppable force? Those days are gone, kids. The troubled retailer, already suffering from falling profits and a slew of layoffs, was dissed in a recent coffee study from Consumer Reports. The ad-free mag ranked Eight O'Clock Coffee as the best-tasting coffee and noted that Starbucks, which costs considerably more, didn't even merit an honorable mention. Searches on eight o' clock coffee" and buy cheap coffee" made jittery jumps.

(Taken from yahoodi itself).

Bring it on, people!

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like the sunshine

dublin at night

i need your loving
like the sunshine
everybody gotta learn sometime
everybody gotta learn sometime..
-Beck.

Got back from fairy's wedding in Dewan Banquet Upm with the captain a former UPM student who has no idea where Dewan Banquet UPM is.

Felt melancholic semacam driving back home. Kept on thinking about streets in Dublin dont know why. Not that I miss being there.
If there's one place I wanna be gotta be that place where my sunshine is.

Tertido dengan peel-off-mask dan bangun dengan horornya muka menjadi keras.
Nak bukak mata pun tak bley. Patutpun mimpi horror (aku yang jadi hantu makan budok). Muka hijau.

Beck is not good for your health.

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Hida's tag

Here are the rules - post this list on your blog replacing my answers with yours.
Tag people to do the same thing.

If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.


1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

(Ah now I know why Hida tagged me after all. Haha.) Expected answer ikut script: Ye ye I am named after Harrison Ford the Indiana Jones man movie last nya sungguh crap. Or to be nicer the handsome Beatles member George Harrison. Eh ok kot. Bayangkan kalau nama aku Afzan Lennon or Afzan Starr (eh not baaad tapi malu seh kalau tidak star) or Afzan McCartney (at the risk of sounding so Heather God Forbid McCartney). My old man has a huge sense of humour kot. To name his daughter a boy's name. :P

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
-bila the Doctor demam. Last night. Sian dia. Pasti kena gi somewhere malam2 naik motor. Risau. Tapi sangat comel.

pic sebelum demam dan sebelum dia hilangkan RayBan yang best itu

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I don't write so much now. I sign beautifully though (perasan). Eh not answering the question langsung, kan.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL?

Nasi Kerabu kat Court, USA Fried Rice kat Black Canyon. But if I have the time,the moolah it'll always be Kenny Rogers Roasters. Everyday pon tak pe. Yes I'm silly that way.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not. Yet. But I have kids living in the same house so...

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Why would I.Gila sarcastic minah tu. Dahla critical semacam and I would so tell her being brooding is a passe and manic in the real world is just too much to be high and low moody semacam. Macam bagus.

hmm. Maybe I should star in this movie.
(yah's version of :how to lose a guy in 10 seconds.) Tak sangka hollywood pays tribute to me haha.Oh i feel loved!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
haha. its always the case when Autopilot mode takes over. Nooo. I'm very nice. (And too slow to use sarcasm) this is what happened after almost2 Years of practice and repeatedly say "My Lord I stand corrected" everytime the bench says Oi counsel have you got no brains??

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yerp.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
from KLCC bridge would be nice.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
I don't do breakfast. (masuk ofis terus lunch)

11. DO YOU UNITE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Tak. Keluar rumah pun the exact position, senang. Sarung je balik macam footsteps yang tertinggal.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
the now banned McFlurry.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

their "air". You know what I mean. I can smell snob proud people miles away. Yes they stink that bad.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red. Please.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I lack focus. My attention span is as good as a fly on a moving wheel. Other than that, you tell me.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST ?
Mr K. Obviously. 14 daysss to go..

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
well if it helps them to kill the time like I did. Thanks hida for creating this escapism route.
Boring la tido lama2.

19. WHAT COLOUR OF PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
All Black. And pink Nike maryjanes.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
We the King's Check Yes Juliet.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
crimson red.

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
roasted chickens :P and oregano cheese based foods.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
my favourite sleepyhead yang demam itu.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
yes! very much! she's a person I really respect :D strong woman I tell you.

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Kendo sparring. Gila bising.

27. HAIR COLOUR?
boring. Haha.

28. EYE COLOUR?
almost black.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
yup yup.

30. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Again. At the risk of overrepeating myself my lord, I do love roasted chicken.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Neither. Most happy endings are scary anyway.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
CJ7 on Astro. Kutuk laaaa.

33. WHAT COLOUR OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Neither. I love autumn.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
It depends on the person giving/getting.

36. FAVOURITE DESSERT?
Yogurt cheesecakes.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
entahla. But I do wish all would respond :D

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
heeeyyy hida aku buat apa tag kau :(
Aku tak fikir lagi sape aku nak tag.

39.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
re-reading the Memory Keeper's Daughter. I still hate David Henry.
Chicken shit pretentious jerk.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Arbitration advert.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
nothing. Went straight to bed feeling miserable after the desert cheese cake yang dah tak boleh makan sebab lama sangat tinggal dalam fridge unnoticed. Sorry Yah :( thanks for the thought.

42. FAVOURITE SOUND(S)?
the comfortable silence.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
the beatles la beb. haha. tak suka Mick jagger

44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
germany?

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
can't sing can't dance. I can draw and paint decent though.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Kelantan! no I don't know how to speak kelantanese so don't try at the risk of hearing polluted version of the dialect. Huhuuu

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
tough choice.

1. Alak nama dia unik k!..
2. Ayu sempena berhijrah blog
3. Aja sebab dah lama tak kacau
4. Chitchit sebab blog tu dah bersawang
5. nak tag mr K tapi.....

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human funk

So lazy to work lagi.

I skipped lunch burnt the midnight oil at the risk of living high blood pressure to finish the impossible written submission to a judge who's brother is as famous.
Just to find out the decision date has been deferred to November.

Whaaa..tt.

Now the intellect oil in the brain has dried up (not that I have many mind you), and teedlehoo with the wedding planner turned bestfriend mode (a rarity nowadays but its nearing I know) I did have some human sense back in me.

Ahh being lazy is so human.
Workaholic is robotic.
Switch off robot. Human mode kicks in.

Like a plague.

Berjaya mengumpat katak2 bersama encik Boss yang respeknya tinggi kepada orang pas dan Tok Guru walaupun encik Boss adalah seorang Cina. Saya setuju.

Like a plague.
Jadi saya telah memakan sebungkus cadbury mousse makan black canyon's grilled salmon (chris the client belanja) dan makan ice-cream 31 BR yang sungguh panjang namanya (boss belanja) disamping melompat keriangan kerana mendapat angpow dari charles the client dan satu plastik besar mandarin pemberian karen.

For the few followers of this mundane blog of mine, its rare for me to post about celebrities.
Apa kejadahnya aku bukan Perez Hilton nak buat kerja cheap-cheap comment celebrities kaaan. Macam takde life on your own sahaja nak copy n paste tepek muka orang lain but everyone is entitled to their own private space on the net so peduli apa kau dengan kutukan aku sebab aku cuma manusia jugak macam kau.
Tapi ha ha I'm over the moon, so judge me I tak kesah.

To Jessica Alba fans, and Zetty (mesti keroro roll eyes) I present to you the elegant gorgeous Alba:

I think she's pretty. Honest! Comel dan cantik dan sweet (ok stop sebelum I make myself sound so Lesbo) tapi dia memang comel lah.
(Mr K sila defend diri anda haha. dan untuk Din..hehehe brace yourself:)

jessica alba patah tengkuk

Hey come on. We're all humans.
Cute whaaat.
hahahahaa.

Snap. Back to work.
Switch off.

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passive aggressive

You don't believe you can make a change, by your own effort?
Its the same as, you don't believe your oneself can fight against the big monsterly giants.

Go on continue, nibble and squeak.
Be gone and away.
Follow the traces of the ghosts who hides in the daylight and fades forever.

A story of the struggle, does not start with carrying guns on your shoulders.
It starts with faith.

And by faith, is not by religious faith alone, but the faith you have for your own strength that your effort is a valid effort of change.
And by effort, no one have to approve it, to acknowledge it but your own.
You know no one gonna give you a medal for it, but you fight on anyway.

This is a story of our Davids, strong and courageous, against the World, the Goliaths.
Not for the weak hearts.

It took years for the South African Apartheid regime to collapse.
But it started with it.

Took more than few antagonizing years for the American Blacks to succeed.
Before they can even ride the same bus with the American Whites.
But it started with it.

Remember the Great American Boycott?
Google it.
It started with it.

Faith.

All individual effort counts.
As every pint of blood drops.
It counts.

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