Tuesday, November 21, 2006

reply letter

Heyya kid,

I just came back from the court, successfully made someone a bankrupt, not a very honourable thing to do but it is for the sake of justice. Debts must be paid off, criminals must be punished and innocents vindicated. And the newly-bankrupt watched my brief in hatred.

But yet simple truth is that in everyday we mingle with things so evil, so different from the set of lives both of us used to have back in the garden of knowledge and virtue. Life back then was so pure and protected.


Now I'm binged and purged out of the garden to the nasty backtrash of our society. Mothers are not usually heroes, heroes are idiotic scapegoats who rather hang their heads low, the protectors of truth were usually easily bought, victims are sometimes dubious and self-mutilate, and those sharks everyone hates are us lawyers. I sometime skimmed myself with pride, tying to cajoule myself that we are the fighter of justice.
Just the same way you remember doctors as lifesavers.
Teachers as the torch-bearers of life.
And police, the guardians of law.

But here we are. The unlikely shark, the evil counsels sucking up from other people's misery. Yet I do not bite.
I still believe what I do is noble. Despite the fact it is not as simple diversion, of what is good and bad, evil or pure. I fight for justice, and for the unjustices fought, there is always, always a good reason to explain.

Yes, kiddo I am a changed person.
I no longer dress myself in such away would redeem respect from the same garden, but it is still well guarded.
I do not believe in scantily clad dress up would heightened my charisma, but it would cheapen the whole life of me.
I do not talk in soft spoken words of optimism, now I speak at the amount of sounding negative, but for me life is real, and I speak honestly and realistically. I neither hide my words for fear or favour. I speak now with short temper of annoyance, in reality wishing things can really work out like the plan should be. Perfect law for the imperfect perfect creations.
Do not chastise me for now I tick off the unnecessary impracticals, life is short and there's so much things to do. I am trying.
Voices are heard, and mine are not arrogant, just a meek cry for help.

How do I assure you, mine is a messy life, but I am passionate about it. And being passionate enough won't at the very least made me a person of no-hope. So there.

I suppose you were right when you say I still befriend the good people who kept close relations with God. Though I detach myself, shying away from the comrades I call family. I know now its hard to keep up, and the fight is still the same, but the ways are forked into two different notches: yours are directly linked, and mine still unclear.

why I detach is not a mystery. Simply because I feel now I'm pushed to another zone in our society that requires concentration and yes, forgive me if I say it here I feel as if i don't belong. I can't cope with impurities I face everyday and mixed with the once clear waters you and I used to dwell in. I fear for the worst, and my patience is almost at a zilch.
I snap at clear things. This I fail to understand, bt my place is here. In the shadows, where I lend my hand to help. Time would come soon, for you to understand bu my aid if needed would be gladly given. It is just a matter of compartmentalising and, I simply cannot divide.
I wish to gain mastery in becoming an all-rounder, but that I have to attain supremacy in know-how to manage time. And life.
Ah, the temparament of adjusment period.

But I still hope for the better.

Yes, why? they are my friends.
And this is the life I chose.
And ours is the protected religion.

As soon as you can see the connection, you can be rest assured that I am still safe and untouched. I might be different, but it is only because now I can tell the difference.

forgive me if I had let you down, but I wish to comfort you the person is full of spirit and now not anymore bitter. The person had grown up, through pain and experience, I shall comfort you to let you know, things are not the way it seemed to be, but i am still in the struggle in the path of God.

forgive me if I had caused you pain and despair, but I wish to remind you, my prayers were long and truly the prayers of the believers are the ultimate weapon. I pray for your safety and peace, my dear kiddo. Time would heal, and soon when we meet again, I will see the sweet smile upon your face once again.

when I read your letter it was like a shocking wake up call for me. I had never imagined that my disappearence would be taken seriously, and your gentle words welcomed me into the realm: yes, my spirit soared even higher after reading your letter. Fight I may, and thank you for your guide, concern and prayers. You are truly a good friend.


your sister.


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