Friday, June 10, 2011

a comma. not a dot.

(It’s a bug. Once you start, you can’t stop. I’ve been blogging for 3 days now. Gila poyo).

And like I true kaypohchi, I started to check on friends’ blogs too. For convenience, I’ll check those who are on my RSS tabs. And there’s always this unspeakable feeling when I see J’s Nafastari blog. The last time he blogged was 4 months ago and as you might know already, he died sometime ago from a car accident. He is survived by his wife and two daughters.

The very notion of someone you knew passed away will always make you think about how frail human lives are. How temporary everything is. Life and death, separated by a blink.

Even when I start writing this, I still stumble with the is/was. Too late to write, but lest be forgotten this is a small reminder that life is just a vessel for the afterworld.

J was a coursemate at our alma mater. We were never close much while we were both reading law, but while he was stationed in Pakistan and I was in India, we chatted regularly on the ym. We always compared ‘notes’ on living abroad, and when Embun was born, I congratulated him, he said “Nur makin cantik kan Af?”.
That’s how I will remember him. A loving husband and father.

Now when I look at my little universe, and I realized that everything I own is on loan. Nothing is forever. Nothing is mine. Not even my own breath.

 Thing is, I’m a little bit whiney when it comes about having to be so far away from the husband. I love weekends when he comes home, but I hate Sundays when he’ll head back South. I keep on telling myself that I’ll endure this for a year plus, and then that’s it. I dread when Monday starts, when I have to be on my own again. I have great respect for J's wife who is now caring for their daughters on her own, and my experience seems so trivial compared to hers.

What I need to learn is to be grateful~ distance is not a separation, even if it is, nothing is forever.


*Mawar Nafastari* 19 June 2011 at 20:18:00 GMT+8  

ye ke Af, dia cakap camtu ke.. aww.. how sweet, dpn kite dia takde puji gitu pun.. huhu...i really miss him..

hanya doa dan anak2 sbg pengubat rindu....

amicus curiae 7 September 2011 at 15:34:00 GMT+8  

he loves you. dis selalu cakap pasal nur,esp bila nur dah deliver.kalau ym, dia mesti kata "eh oklah.nak balik dah.tak sabar nak makan.apa agaknya mawar masak". something like that. :)

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