Sunday, February 10, 2008

sufferin' succotash

I really felt like cursing.
But how do I curse to something that actually brings me good?

So I have to say something rather pompous, like agreeing to the fact that it actually sucks but fearing that being a motor mouth would render me ungrateful, so I cursed rather, shamefully, and meekly...

suffering succotash!

At least there two F's..

Am I relieved?
I don't know.

I'm relieved for not having to face the hateful people anymore.
If I had been more forgiving, it would be thus abominable because I share the same credo as Rumpole "never plead guilty" when you're not. But I trust being forgiving is best, if not noble.

James never thought of forgiving Briony, did he?
He constantly thought of Cee.
But none of the bitch who had taken his life and love away.

In that same tune, I think the same too.
I fear the future, for the past is something I have no control of.

To forgive or not, it's not going to change anything.
Damage is done.
The bridge has been burnt.
And one innocent person was burnt alive at the stake.
Crucified for a crime no one knows how it happened.
Why blame the innocent, is another question.

How should I be at peace?
How can I be relieved?

Innocence is never a warranty to your freedom.
My mother said, if you want so much of a warranty, buy yourself a toaster and you'll get one.
(Though when she said it she meant it in relation to love-relationships)

If you'd watch Sweeny Todd (sorry Depp, didn't like musicals anyway) or even better, Count of Monte Cristo, you know what I meant. What is justice, accords to your power.
If you're poor and weak, no justice for you.
You continue living in fear and agony, while the long hands of law reaches for you for something you didn't do.

A quick wish of death is helpful.
But really, if there's anyone else in this world deserves to die, it shouldn't be the innocents.
And unless if your neurotic, stop whining and face the music.
What gives you the right to be weak?

For God is always there.
Protecting, Providing.

So I cursed sufferin' succotash.
Its meaningless, but acknowledging the human factor still needs to be compensated, (but still can be deceived), into believing your anger translated into any verbal diarrhea is good enough as an overkill, hence its sufficient.

Its one bad experience, one of the most difficult thing I've ever encountered in my life.
It makes me treasure my life even more.
And its not Cancer.

If i have one advice to give, I'll give you the soundest I've ever give:
Associate yourselves only with people of integrity.

At the point of no return, I will soon have no regrets (for things I didn't do), and be thankful to God that I am being thought an expensive lesson of trust.

How can I not be grateful?


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