something to tell you

..if ever your world starts crashing down..
whenever you will starts crashing down
thats where you'll find me..
-all for down by One Republic

After a whirlwind of a week, (including a trip back to Tangkak and cendol-slurping weekend near Muar High School) I managed to push myself into finishing the latest Hanif Kureshi's novel.

I don't know.
Maybe I was too overly indulged into eating Atuk's durian susu and the super-sweet manggis.
And the happy smile on Atuk's face was all I could think of.
Or the eventful roadblocking week.
Or the roller-coaster emotional ride involving a dear friend's emotion.
Or was I missing my other half while I was in Johore.
Or was I too occupied thinking if I had the chance to pay a visit to The Boss' mother's funeral in Tangkak.

Poor Boss, he had just lost his father a month ago.


Whatever it was, I couldn't bring myself to finish the latest Kureshi's book.

I know and I respect that writers have their themes (afterall, they write something that is close to their heart and soul -dekat di hati) but after 6 versions of near-biography novels, you know what I mean.

Think about a Pakistani living in London.
And the (repeated) issues of ill-stricken society.

Somehow stories relating to psychoanalyst reminds me of a french film (Son's Room), and I quite like the dark effects how these psycho-people bring about themselves, but I cannot symphatise with Kureshi's Jamal, even as a "collector of sighs".

As a Freudian analyst on the opposite role now on the couch,on his way to spill his big secret, the after effect was uncontrollable:

'To prevent myself collapsing, I had to hold on to a lamp post. I began to defecate uncontrollably. Shit ran down my legs and into my shoes. I began to weep; then I vomited - vomiting the past. My shirt was covered in sick. My insides were on the outside; everyone could see me. It wasn't pretty and I had ruined my suit, but something had started.'

I always thought I read because of the structures of the language more than the story itself, but I think I'll read it again when I'd managed to calm myself down. When I'm thirsty for beautiful language instead of an expectation that the book would steal my breath away. I felt I've been taken in a wild ride (which usually means good thing) but this time the ride was driven in A Benz suited for offroad trails.


If you must ask, the music tie-in is One Republic's All fall down. Superb music, unfortunately its in my head while finishing this book.

Anyway. I'm off to mountain-biking. Ciou!

P/s: the art cover is nauseating. Can it be more obvious!