6 o'clock please come hither faster!!

Were it not for
the excess of your talking
and the turmoil in your hearts,
you would see what I see
and hear what I hear!

-Ibn Arabi

The Boss' 97 year old father died last night.
He was sobbing through his instructions to me on what needs to be done for today's hearing.

I did not ask further questions on anything although my inquisitive self is strangling my emphaty, nor did I dare to interrupt his 'planned' conversation.
I sensed when sadness takes over, business as usual is handed over to one's robotic self.

And the only staff we have is on leave, accompanying her 3 year old daughter who was warded last weekend. Poor kid. And she is a single mother.

So much that I can kick off the guilt to call the staff but I understand the need to not receive any phone calls. (Ha ha talking on my own behalf)
(Seriously annoying when everyone calls now and then and I'm not even done with paragraph one~)

I need to concentrate and not lose focus.
No need to panic.
I'm the Man of the office right now for two weeks. (Guffaws nervously)

Ini opis ana yang punya (said in a sad tone, not the usual greedy happy tone lsaid after marrying the second wife/striking lottery (note: gambling is prohibited in Islam)).

I actually feel the bliss in my busy day in the office.
To still have my loved ones, happy and healthy, thats all that matters even when I'm pinned to the most impossible chore assgined to me but Alhamdullilah, God helped me and almost everything is ok.

Except for one or two, which is still manageable (for now) I think.

But as though I remain cool calm and collected (hey even if i freak out, who knows except Allah, right?) I think this is the first time ever I can't wait long enough for the office hour to end.

Having your own good self (Mak calls it "mind-talking") as your only company as a choice is always good. It opens up doors to self-check (muhasabah) and to philosophical never ending questions why are we here, who are we? etc etc.

Questions that sometimes unanswerable, yes but most of the time effective to make us a better person and servant to our Creator. Which most of all carelessly think over it in our difficult times....

But try having it as an obligation. A no-choice situation.
Now you know sometimes your philosophical friend can be sucha arrogant snub!

Haha.


(no no I'm not mad)