Tuesday, June 02, 2009

dulcis domus : abusus non tollit usum

home sweet home: abuse of right does not validitate use

Most people think whatever happens in a house, remains in the house.
This belief is widely spread among the society, and sadly even to the police practices, upon seeing a domestic violence case; the reaction is almost treated with unsympathetic cynics.

More often than not the victims were chided with disparaging remarks of "you deserve to be beaten" to "just go home and please your spouse" than actually taking up the cases.


1. The Police Force is just lazy to "interfere" with domestic problems;
2. Most of the time the cases were withdrawn, (Unfortunately the reason number 1 is backed up by the attitude of the victims themselves) seemingly the victims were cajouled in a cooling off period.

What, good treatment in one night made the bruises and cuts disappear?

Kid me not.

Domestic violence is our country, sadly, is something being taken lightly by almost everyone.

Including the victims.
One slap does not make a difference with two or three more.
Simply because the dominating spouse is "right" and the victims are depending on their partners economically, socially, emotionally and yes, physically.
-Too dependent to severe the ties, forsaking their ownself.

Bruises do disappear, and I have often felt at loss when the victims do not even bother to self-collect their own evidence.
And the violation, more often than not, are recurring abuses.
Initially I suspected the victims 'allow' the abuse to take place, but then I realised it takes several layers of reason.

One of the main reason is ignorance.
I have met few abused women, who seemed shocked when I told them what happened to them are all abuse. They came running saying "they simply don't know it was wrong".
They were told to accept it as a way of life.
And once and if they report the abuse, it would 'disrupt' the outer-shell hypocrisy of 'our family is OK'

Until they learn that violation of rights is not a sacred token of a marriage or familial life.

Secondly: Helplessness.
I spoken to a few victims of domestic violence, it seemed that they did not know help/rescue are available to them.

They have no where to go, no one to talk to.

Gender Neutral
If you notice, I have avoided using a specific gender to denote the 'abusers' group.
Simply because (although the statistic shown otherwise) there are cases where the husband was abused by the wife. No laughing matter, the man is over 60 and bedridden and the wife is 30-year old able bodied woman. Its just as sickening to watch a person's right being violated.

And to make things worse, the case was only reported when the hospital checked him in and found wounds that can only be made by repeated abuses.

This is where One Stop Crisis Centre comes in.
Most of the victims, having conquered their fear of being ridiculed by the society (as failed spouses) [- yes negative societal pressure is damn shitty, you let me know if you need me to bore you about it], will be traumatised to get checked again and again by authorities, first by the medical officers, second by the police officers, third maybe by legal enforces like the JKM.

So this OSCC room, having all the authorities at one place, the traumatising experience will (and should be done) in One Shot.
So no more repetitive check-ups and reporting, and no more 'walk of shame' from the police station to the hospital; as the relevant authorities would be placed in the same system.

Thats the the whole Idea, to facilitate further processes of the law together with 'saving' the psychological aspect of the victim. The Ideal Rescuer.

Since the OSCC is fairly new, the authorities have been very supportive of the Idea and now the State of Selangor is spear-heading the project in 6 government hospitals.

I've been lucky to join their roadshows, and I could only note one or two possible improvements:

1. OSCC-specific officer.
The authorities buzzing around the OSCC placed in the ER room are not specially assigned to watch over the OSCC room, an officer to facilitate the OSCC service shall be a boost in the smooth running of the OSCC operation.

2. Train the Police officers to familiarise themselves with Domestic Violent cases.
Most of the officers, sadly and shamefully, are not experienced officers to deal with DV cases.
I always thought that persons handling DV cases should be trained to do so, as it should be handled differently.

Its a good step forward.
I'm not part of the PR, but I applaud the state's attempt to 'turun padang' and for once, really work on the very basic unit of the society: family.

After all, a good state begins with happy homes.
I hope other states can folllow suit one day :)

For more info, visit wirda selangor


Anonymous,  2 June 2009 at 16:26:00 GMT+8  

deserving abuse?

kan dalam islam pun ada "cara" untuk mengajar isteri.dan im sure its not that 'painful'.


haundem 2 June 2009 at 16:40:00 GMT+8  

i'm proud i am ur friend *applause**

amicus curiae 2 June 2009 at 18:39:00 GMT+8  

wani. ure right.what pisses me off is how some ppl based their wrongdoings with religious grounds.

I call it bull.

mm.. hehe thank you for your kind encouragement :D

mr K 2 June 2009 at 22:30:00 GMT+8  

waaaaah.. sungguh mantap sekali!
bangga2! doktor boleh join jugak kan? nak join nanti! :)

amicus curiae 3 June 2009 at 00:33:00 GMT+8  

harap2 ada lagi la roadshow mcm skrg ni,nanti :D thank you dear husband..for your kind words + encouragement.Still so much to learn..

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